


Family Ties

by 12TimeTraveler



Series: Campfire Stories (RDR2 works) [3]
Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Childbirth, Continued one-shot, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Pregnancy, Tumblr request, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:15:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 23,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28024572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/12TimeTraveler/pseuds/12TimeTraveler
Summary: Javier and Reader reconcile after the events at Beaver Hollow. But Javier has some loose family ties that he needs to close.
Relationships: Abigail Roberts Marston/John Marston, Javier Escuella/Reader
Series: Campfire Stories (RDR2 works) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1978189
Kudos: 43





	1. Blood

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 1 originally posted on [Campfire Stories](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22813597/chapters/59832004) as a one-shot, but I received an anon request for a part two, and who am I to turn down such a request? So I have put both chapters here. Chapter 1 can still be read in its original home, but chapter 2 will only be posted here. 
> 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 
> Please follow my [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/12timetraveler) @12timetraveler to make requests, see teasers, and just generally geek out with me. 
> 
> Requests are always welcome  
> Kudos bring me joy  
> Comments feed my soul

The disbandment of the gang had been rough for you both, but Javier especially.

You’d been worried that it may even end your relationship with him. You knew Dutch wasn’t thinking clearly, and you no longer trusted him to have everyone’s best interests in mind. To Javier, you may as well have committed treason, and you both fought about it constantly. When Tilly left with Jack, you went with her, knowing that if you didn’t you’d probably die.

John met you all at Copperhead Landing the next morning, clearly heartbroken. He told you what happened, about Arthur, about Susan. You asked about Javier, and you didn’t miss the flash of anger across his face.

“He made his choice.” John said simply, and you didn’t have to ask further. You knew exactly where he’d stood when it came down to it. John may as well have told you he’d died, for how it tore through your heart. You fell to your knees, holding yourself tightly as you wept. No one tried to tell you to stop, or comfort you. They knew there was nothing to say. Tilly eventually helped you to your feet and led you away. 

You didn’t stick with the others long. Seeing John and Abigail broke your heart, because you feared you’d never see your true love again. Once things died down, you’d bought yourself a beat-up little Nakota from the stables, and headed west toward Valentine. You did what work you could, nannying, sewing, stocking shelves, cleaning the doctors office. Any honest work you could. 

A month after everything went down in flames, you came across Javier in the saloon in Valentine. He was sitting in the corner nursing a bottle and looking depressed when you walked in. You froze and said his name. When he saw you, his face went pale. He stood up, like he was going to run to you, and promptly fainted, both from the shock and because he hadn’t eaten a meal in days.

With the help of a few of the men in town, you carried your lover back to your hotel room. They asked if they should fetch a doctor, fetch the sheriff, but you assured them you’d be fine, and that he was an old friend. You sat on the edge of the bed and studied him carefully. That face you were certain you’d never see again, the man who broke your heart.

His face was sunken in, and he was pale and sickly looking. He reeked of alcohol and you knew that he’d probably been living solely on liquor and saloon food. But he was still your one and only, the man you loved with all your heart.

You knew you should be furious with him. You should have left him on the floor of that saloon and walked out and never looked back. He’d chosen Dutch over you. Loyalty to that man and his ideals meant more to Javier than you did. But staring down at him, you just wanted to snuggle up against him and pretend none of it had happened. Pretend that Arthur was still alive, and the gang that made up your strange family was together once more.

You felt a tear slip down your cheek. You reached your hand up to wipe it away hastily, but another took its place. You stood from the bed to retrieve your handkerchief from your trunk, but a hand wrapped around your wrist and stopped you. You froze, almost afraid to look down at the man on the bed now that he was awake.

“Mi cilito.” He said hoarsely. You slowly turned to look at him. Javier was awake, staring up at you. His face was a mix of concern and awe and love. “You’re real.” He murmured, surprised. “It’s not an illusion this time. You’re real. You’re here. Why are you crying, mi amor?” He asked, sitting up in the bed. You grabbed the pitcher of water and poured him a glass before sitting on the edge of the bed next to him.

Javier pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and handed it to you as you gave him the water. You couldn’t suppress a tearful laugh as you took it. God he’d never change. He always kept a clean handkerchief in his pocket, in case you needed it. You took the handkerchief and dabbed your eyes.

“I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.” You whispered, meeting his gaze for a moment, then looking away shyly. “I thought you’d run off to Tahiti with Dutch and whoever was left. I thought you’d left me behind.” You dabbed the handkerchief at your eyes again and sniffled, trying and failing to keep your emotions under control.

You studied Javier through your lashes and you realized just how skinny he was. God when was the last time he’d eaten? You stood and grabbed a piece of bread and some salted meat and handed it to him. He looked up at you like you were crazy.

“Booze ain’t food.” You huffed. “Eat something.”

“Mi amor—”

“Eat or I’ll walk out that door right now and never come back.” You growled, feeling some of that anger you’d been holding inside of you come to the surface. He knew you weren’t messing around, and he quickly took a bite of the bread. Satisfied, you sat back down on the edge of the bed and stared at the floor. It was silent while he ate, and the room was tense and somber.

“Mi amor,” Javier said, once he had finished the meal. You glanced over at him, and he winced when he saw the hurt that was no doubt written all over your face.

“You chose him.” You whispered, not trusting yourself to talk any louder without bursting into tears again. You stared at the floor once more “When it came down to it, you chose Dutch over me. How could you…”

“Mi amor, that was the biggest mistake I have ever made in my entire life.” Javier sat forward and took your hand in both of his. You didn’t look up. “The moment I realized you’d left with Tilly, I knew I’d made a huge mistake.” 

“You had plenty of time to come after me.” You hissed. ”John told me where you stood, in the end. He told me you raised your gun to him and Arthur.” You said. There was a venom in your voice, and an ache in your heart, but you wanted to hear what he had to say as well.

“I was too proud.” He spat out the words like they left a bad taste in his mouth. “I wasn’t thinking clearly. But I never aimed for either of them. I couldn’t. I kept my gun pointed at the sky. The Pinkerton’s descended before I could do anything else, and it all went to hell. But if they hadn’t… I think I would have switched sides.” He said. “Little good that does now but…” He sighed. The two of you were silent for a moment.

“I wanted to be with you forever.” You choked out, fighting and failing to push down a sob. Javier shifted so that he was kneeling beside you.

“I still want that, amor.” He said desperately. “I know what I did was unforgivable, but I still love you with all my heart. You were right from the start; Dutch wasn’t the Dutch who I met stealing chickens. I should have listened to you. I’m so sorry, amor.” He rested his forehead against your shoulder. You felt tears hit your blouse as he wept. You were both quiet for a moment, tears flowing from both of you.

“Are you only saying that because your first choice failed?” You asked bitterly, not meeting his gaze. Javier slid off the bed so that he was kneeling in front of you, holding your hands in both of his and forcing you to meet his gaze. 

“You’re my first choice, amor, you always should have been. I was a blind fool before, but I see now that I should have been by your side through it. I should have listened to you. I’m sorry, mi amor. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I am so sorry.” He whispered, holding your face close. “Te amo, mi amor.” He whispered. You turned to face him then, and your eyes locked on his. You could see the pain he felt, and you knew he was being sincere.

“Te amo.” You responded, leaning forward and knocking your forehead against his. His shoulders dropped slightly, and he let out a sound that was close to a sob. His arms came around your waist and he held you tightly, crying against your stomach. You wrapped your arms around his as best as you could from the angle you sat at, and the two of you wept. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Together the two of you went further west to New Austin. It wasn’t all peaches and cream. You were still hurt by his decisions at Beaver Hollow. As much as you wanted to move past it and return to how you’d once been, you found yourself struggling to trust him. Though he’d never admit it, he sometimes struggled to trust you too. When the two of you had been fighting in camp, it had felt like your loyalty to him was gone. He saw now that it wasn’t, but it was still a hard feeling to shake. But as time went on and months turned into years, you were able to trust each other like you had before. Maybe even more so.

You both grieved for Arthur and Susan, and for the little family the gang had once been for you all. Knowing that John and his family made it out was some comfort. You knew Sadie, Tilly and Mary Beth were out there somewhere as well, along with some of the others who fled before it got bad. Not everyone had died that fateful night.

You'd both spent countless hours debating on where you would go. Do you flee north to Canada? Move west to some secluded little place where you both could just exist? Jump on the first boat you saw and hope it took you somewhere good? Mexico was out of the question, as much as it called to Javier from across the river. He was still wanted there. 

Eventually your indecisiveness made the decision for you. The two of you built yourself a fair life in New Austin. You took on aliases, claimed you were already married. (As far as you both were concerned you already were. At least there'd be no paper trail to track you both down this way). You were content. But you could see Javier growing restless about something. 

"I want to go to Mexico." He admitted one day a couple years after Beaver Hollow "just at least to... to make sure my sister is alright. To visit my mother's grave, if I can. Even if I can't stay, I want to at least visit." 

"When do we leave?" You asked simply.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The ride to Nuevo Paraíso was long. The main points of entry were closed, and the borders were still guarded, though not as heavily as they were back in ’99. The war that Javier had once fought so hard for that it cost him his home was finally coming to fruition it would seem. A part of you wondered if he’d return to Mexico to fight if it did happen.

Your hand instinctively went to your lower abdomen, gently patting the little secret you had there. You’d been wanting to tell Javier for a while, but the timing had never seemed right. You were now worried that you may once again end up testing his loyalties, this time between the life you and he had created, and the revolution he’d always been passionate about.

Since the borders were still technically guarded, the two of you would have to be careful moving across. The last thing you wanted was for Javier to be recognized by the army. At nightfall, the two of you crossed the San Luis River on horseback at one of the narrow points in the river. You then rode quietly along the shore until you could safely climb the banks.

The two of you rode at a quick trot across the desert, ever vigilant, ready to fight anyone, bandit or army, who may wish you both harm. Javier rode just a few paces ahead of you, carefully leading the way through the sand dunes and rocky crevasses and plateaus. You rode through the night, your only light coming from the full moon that hung overhead. As you rode, you made Javier test your Spanish. You wouldn’t call yourself fluent, but you were hoping that you were good enough to be able to communicate with people here.

As the sun began to rise, you came upon the town of Escalera. Javier had told you he was raised here, and spent his childhood playing in the streets. You couldn’t help but smile as you rode through the streets of the little town, watching kids play much as you imagined Javier had.

Javier brought Boaz to a stop on one of the quiet streets, hitching up. You pulled your horse up alongside him and dismounted. You could see the flurry of emotions on his face as he took in the sight of the familiar streets. You slid your hand into his gently and gave it a quick squeeze. He glanced over at you and gave you a reassuring smile, bringing your hand to his lips and kissing it, keeping your fingers interlocked.

“Come on, mi amor. I’ll show you where I grew up.” He said, leading you down the street. The buildings were small, you were clearly in the poorer part of the city. But there was a strange beauty in the buildings, as small and ramshackle as they may be. Javier led you through the streets, never having to pause to get his bearings. He knew this place like the back of his hand.

He slowed slightly as he approached a small house, and you knew right away this must have been his childhood home. It was small and simple, like the rest of the town. Javier froze, staring at the building that was once his home.

“Javier? Is that you?” You heard someone ask in Spanish. You and Javier both turned. A man stood a few feet away, staring at your husband as if he’d seen a ghost.

“Alejandro! My god!” Javier replied, slipping into his native tongue with ease. You hoped you’d be able to keep up, that your spanish was good enough. Javier raced over and embraced the man, slapping his back familiarly. The two men laughed as they embraced.

“Mi amor, this is my cousin, Alejandro.” Javier said, turning back to you for a moment. You stepped forward and extended your hand out to Alejandro. “Alejandro, this is my wife.” Javier said, introducing you proudly.

“Buenos dias.” You said, cringing internally at your accent.

“You married a gringa? Oh your mother is rolling in her grave.” Alejandro laughed. Yes that was exactly what you wanted to hear. Alejandro seemed to realize his faux paz just then and smiled. “But I’m sure she’d have warmed up to the idea.” He said sheepishly. Javier gave him a long-suffering look. Alejandro’s face dropped for a moment.

“What the hell are you doing here, huh?” He hissed, like he hadn’t just announced to the whole neighborhood that Javier was here. “You wanna get yourself killed, estupido? Get inside before someone sees you.” He said, gesturing for you both to follow him inside.

“You live here now?’ Javier asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah. Your mother gave it to me when she left with your sister.” Alejandro explained.

“She moved away with Ana did?” He asked.

“She didn’t have much to keep her here. When Ana married and moved to Chuparosa, she went with. She’s buried near there too.” Alejandro seemed to connect the dots. “Is that why you’re here? To see your sister and find your mother’s grave?” He asked. Javier nodded. “Idiota! Why risk your neck for that?! Even worse, you’re risking your wifes neck.”

“No one’s risking my neck but me.” You huffed. Alejandro sighed.

“You married someone as foolish and stubborn as you, huh?” Alejandro shot Javier a look, and Javier just chuckled.

“It’s good to see you too, cousin.” He laughed. Alejandro shook his head, but he couldn’t hide the smile on his face.

“You two must be hungry.” Alejandro said, pulling out some salted beef and some fruit. “It’s not much. I’m sure you eat caviar and steak every day in America.” He said. You both chuckled and shook your head.

“You’d be surprised how similar our breakfasts usually are.” You said, gratefully taking the food Alejandro offered.

“What you aren’t wealthy American merchants? What the hell have you been doing over there, Javier?” Alejandro teased.

“Mostly getting shot at.” Javier replied.

“Oh so same as you did over here then.” He said. Alejandro glanced over at you. “How did a nice lady like you end up meeting this fool then?”

“Mostly getting shot at.” You replied simply, and Alejandro roared with laughter.

“I like you, senorita.” He said. “So you’re as bad as him then?” He asked.

“Oh she’s much worse.” Javier said. “She makes people think she’s all cute and innocent first.” He teased. You casually slipped one of your daggers from your boot and sliced into one of the fruits with ease. Alejandro laughed once more. 

“So, you’re married now?” Javier asked, nodding to a pair of ladies bloomers peeking out of a trunk in the house. Alejandro quickly tucked it the rest of the way in. 

“Yeah. I married Rosa.” He said. 

“Rosa? You’re kidding? How did you get her to fall for an ugly bastard like you?” Javier said. Alejandro shoved him slightly, laughing. 

“I’ve wondered the same often enough.” He chuckled. “She should be back soon. Her brother got himself arrested and she had to go and pay his bail. Again.” Alejandro rolled his eyes. 

It wasn’t long before you heard someone calling Alejandro’s name, and a short, beautiful woman walked into the house. She had a small baby bump, not yet huge and awkward, just big enough that you knew. She was followed by a grumpy, beat up looking man. looking like a scolded puppy. She noticed you immediately, and looked you up and down. 

“Who is this?” She asked Alejandro. 

“Come on, Rosa you don’t recognize me?” Javier asked, catching her attention. She studied Javier for a moment then let out a cry of joy and hugged him. 

“Javier Escuella what in God’s name are you doing here?” She asked. 

“Just showing my wife where I grew up.” He said, gesturing to you. Rosa turned once more to look at you. 

“Your wife, you say. A gringa?” She looked you up and down, and started speaking spanish slowly, as if you were dumb. “Its. Nice. To. Meet. You.” She said. 

“It’s nice to meet you too, senorita.” You said. She blinked, seeming a little shocked that you knew spanish. 

“I’m so sorry,” She said. “I just thought... Americans don’t typically know much spanish when they come here.” 

“It’s alright. I suppose Americans treat Mexicans the same when they cross the river.” You said, giving her a smile. 

“They really do.” Javier chuckled knowingly. 

“You came to check on Ana then?” Rosa asked knowingly. “Do you know about...” 

“Yes. I know my mother died. Alejandro and I exchanged letters for a while, before my bounty in America grew too large.” 

“You have a bounty in America too?” Rosa scolded. She looked over at you. “Why on earth did you marry such a scoundrel?” She asked. 

“Actually as I recall, my bounty was bigger than his.” You said, giving Javier a mischievous smile. “I think it still might be.” Rosa threw up her hands and sighed. 

“Well you two are perfectly matched then.” She huffed. “How long are you both staying? We don’t have much space but we can spread out some blankets on the ground.” 

“We aren’t staying long. We’ll probably leave after sunset. We just needed to know where Ana moved to.” Javier said. “If we could just hide here for the day...”

“You mean _you_ hide.” Rosa said. “She doesn’t have a price on her head here. Why should she be trapped here with you? I’m going to take her to the market with me.” She turned back to you. “If you want, that is. I’d like to show you the town while you are here. And since we are cousins, I’d like to get to know you.” She said. 

“Of course. I’d love to.” You said. 

“Ah, mi amor, you’re just going to leave me here?” Javier asked dramatically, pretending to be hurt. 

“Damn right I am.” You said. “I want to see the town while I’m here.” You said. Javier sighed sorrowfully, but he couldn’t hide the smile on his face. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

You and Rosa chatted as you walked through the streets. Just small talk at first, but you couldn’t help but pry into Javier’s childhood. 

“What was Javier like as a kid?” You asked. Rosa chuckled. 

“Oh he was just as wild as he is now, I think. Maybe even more so.” Rosa said. “His mother, may she rest in peace, used to chase him all over the town. He would race across the buildings like a street urchin. That boy was always in trouble. But...” Rosa paused. “Do you know about his uncle? Alejandro’s father.”

“The one that was castrated and killed in front of him?” You nodded solemnly. 

“Yes him.” She said, crossing herself. “After that day, Javier was different. He was still wild, but he was wild with a purpose. It stuck with him, and from that day on he was a revolutionary.” She sighed. “First he was leading the other children around, pretending to overthrow the government. Usually that just meant scaring the chickens away.” She laughed. “As he got older, he got bolder. He began playing pranks on soldiers and on the wealthy men in town. Well, you know what happened after that, I think.” She said. You nodded. 

“The woman he fought over? What ever happened to her?” you asked quietly. Rosa looked at you, surprised. 

“She decided to serve god, and became a nun at Las Hermanas.” Rosa said. “I’m surprised you know about her. It’s certainly not the first thing I would have thought he’d tell his wife.”

“Javier and I have no secrets.” You said. “Well... we don’t keep them secret for long.” you said, hand resting on your belly. Rosa gave you a knowing look. 

“I was wondering.” She said. “You seem tired, and your bosom is straining against your blouse like it doesn’t fit the way it used to.” You couldn’t help but laugh. “How far along are you?”

“Not long. A month or two I think.” You said. “I only figured it out a couple weeks ago.”

“And you haven’t told Javier yet?” She asked curiously. 

“No. It... hasn’t felt like the right time.” You sighed. “Maybe I’m hoping after this trip he’ll be ready to settle. That may be a vain wish but...” You chewed your lip. “A gal can hope I guess.”

“I don’t think thats such a crazy wish.” Rosa said. “Javier may be a hot-headed fool, but he knows what matters when it comes down to it.” She said. You nodded. “If he’s even half the man he was before he left Mexico, well he’ll be thrilled.” She said, grabbing your arm and squeezing it reassuringly. “Tell him soon. You’ll see.” You nodded. 

The two of you spent the rest of the morning in the market, swapping stories, particularly humiliating ones about Javier and Alejandro. Rosa bought you a beautiful handwoven shawl. You tried to refuse, but she insisted that you have something from Mexico to take with you. You didn’t have much on you, but you insisted she take a beautiful bracelet you had stored away in your satchel (that you most definitely did not steal). Rosa was very grateful. 

The sun was high in the sky when you began the walk back to Rosa’s home. You checked on Boaz and your horse as you passed them, but they seemed content where they were. You and Rosa linked arms and began the final walk back to the house. 

“Oh I’ve got a story for you.” She said, giggling excitedly. “Oh Javier is going to kill me for telling you this. Let me think. I was about six or seven so Javier had to be around three for four.” She said, “Javier’s mother was giving him a bath, which he hated of course, like all little boys do. She turned her back for one minute, and he lept out of the little tub she was bathing him in and raced out the door, as naked as the day he was born.” You were both laughing. 

“I was outside helping my mama hang the laundry to dry, and I look up and see this naked little boy come streaking by.” Rosa laughed. “His little...” she wiggled her pointer finger, and you snorted a laugh. “Just flapping in the breeze as he ran. A few moments later his mother comes racing after him, yelling for him to stop. He knew he couldn’t outrun her, so he climbed the nearest house he could...” Rosa was laughing so hard she could barely get through the story. You had tears of laughter streaming down your face as you pictured it. 

“Oh god. That’s going to be me in a few years isn’t it.” You sighed between your giggles. 

“If the little one is anything like it’s father.” Rosa confirmed. “Anyway, he gets to the top of the house and stands on the edge, hands on his hip, still naked as can be, and glares down at his mother. He then shouts ‘no pants, no baths, freedom for all!’” You were practically doubled over with laughter at this point. “He gets the rest of the children all riled up about it too. Soon they’re all chanting it, some of them yanking their own trousers off.” 

“Ah my sweet revolutionary. I’m so proud.” You cackled. The two of you were approaching the house. 

“Ah. It took his mother hours to bring him back inside. Woo did he get it that evening. Guess he never learned his lesson though. He’s as wild as ever..” Rosa said, wiggling her eyebrows at Javier who was staring at you both questioningly as you walked into the house. Just looking at his sweet face, you burst out laughing once more, setting down your basket and kneeling on the floor. 

“Rosa what did you tell her?” Javier asked nervously. 

“Hoo. Nothing, mi amor.” You said, struggling to regain your composure. “I have to say though, I’m glad you don’t still hate baths and trousers.” You and Rosa both cackled. Javier took a minute to process your words, then he groaned. 

“Oh Rosa you didn’t tell her _that_ story!” He groaned. Rosa nodded. 

“Of course I did. It’s one of my favorites. I just hope for her sake that you’ve grown since then.” She said, wiggling her pinky finger. You and Alejandro roared with laughter. Javier looked like he was regretting bringing you to Mexico. 

You scooted across the floor and curled up next to him, hugging his arm and kissing his cheek, shoulders still shaking with laughter. 

“My revolutionary. Fighting for the peoples rights even back then.” You teased. He sighed and gave you a smile, pressing his lips to yours. 

“Well I’ve always been passionate.” He teased. You chuckled and nuzzled your face against his neck. “You should rest, mi corazon. You didn’t sleep last night, and you probably won't tonight either. We’ve got a long ride.” He murmured. You nodded and lay down so that your head was resting in his lap.It wasn’t long before you drifted off to sleep. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

As the sun set, you and Javier began preparing for your journey. Rosa and Alejandro insisted on giving you some food for the trip, despite your protests. You knew they didn’t have much, but they wouldn’t hear of it and stuffed your saddlebags full of homemade bread and salted meat. 

Rosa gave you a hug as you were preparing to mount up. You hugged her back, feeling sad that you were leaving. You hadn’t even known her for twenty-four hours, but you really liked her. You hugged her tightly. 

“It was great to meet you, Rosa.” you said. 

“You too.” she said, she leaned closer, whispering in your ear. “Tell him. He’ll be thrilled.” She pulled away and you nodded. 

“I will. Thank you, Rosa, for everything.” Alejandro pulled you into a quick hug while Javier and Rosa bid their farewells. “You too, Alejandro. It was great to meet you.” you said. 

“And you.” He said. “Take care of my cousin. I know he’s not an easy man to deal with, but he deserves something good.” He said. You nodded solemnly. 

“I’ll do my best.” You said. You looked over at Javier, who nodded. The two of you mounted up, ready to leave on your journey. 

“Safe travels.” Rosa called as Alejandro gently led her to take a step back. With a final farewell, you and Javier took off at a trot, riding down the path and out of the city. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Not even an hour after you left the city, it started raining, no, pouring. It got to the point where you could barely see Javier riding just a few feet ahead of you. The two of you trudged on, hoping it would stop. Just five more minutes and it would pass. Just ten more minutes. 

“Javier!” you called, hoping your voice could be heard over the wind. He didn’t respond. “Javi!” You called louder. He glanced back at you and slowed Boaz so you were riding side by side. “We have to stop soon.” You said. He nodded, chewing his lips. 

“I know. But we’re near Crooked Toes. There are a lot of wolves around. I don’t want to stop here.” He said. “Just a little bit further and we’ll stop and set up camp. I promise.” He said. You nodded and pushed on, patting your horse encouragingly. 

After what felt like an eternity, Javier pulled off the trail and headed toward the cliffs that towered nearby. You followed him as he and Boaz climbed the steep slope, following a narrow path. About half-way up there was a cave. It didn’t go back very far, but it would offer you some shelter. 

You dismounted, soaked through, and followed Javier inside. You lit your lanturn to provide some light. There was a small fire pit from some previous traveler who’d camped here, but it was old and obvious no one had been here in a long time. But some of the wood was still usable, and it was dry. 

Javier wasted no time in getting a fire started while you untacked the horses and dried them off as best as you could. As you were finishing rubbing down Boaz, Javier grabbed you and pulled you away. He immediately pushed off your jacket and began unbuttoning your blouse. 

“Javi,” you scolded, chuckling slightly. He gave you a wicked grin and shook his head. 

“You’re soaked through, amor,”

“How would you know, you haven’t touched me there.” You teased. Javier couldn’t suppress letting out a little moan. 

“I mean your clothes.” He said, unable to hide the amusement on his face. “You’ll catch a cold if you stay in these wet clothes. 

“Oh.” You said, flushing slightly. 

“But I don’t think this rain will let up for a while so if you’re also soaked down there...” He said suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows. You chuckled and pushed his jacket off his shoulders. 

“Lets get settled first.” You said. He nodded and you continued pulling each other free of your wet clothes. Though you’d been teasing each other just moments before, there was nothing sexual about undressing each other. It was wonderfully intimate, but you knew that the two of you could just as easily curl up under a blanket and just talk or snuggle if that's what one of you wanted. 

Once you were both free of your wet clothes, standing naked in the cave, you lay them out on the ground to dry. Javier sat down on one of the bedrolls and pulled you down between his legs so your back was resting against his chest. He wrapped his arms around you and held you close, nuzzling his face into your neck. 

“Are you alright, mi amor? You seem... off lately.” He asked. “You’re growing tired quicker. Normally you could have kept going further than we did tonight.” 

You were tempted to tell him, to let him know about the little life growing in your stomach. To tell him he was going to be a father. But you knew him. He’d turn around and ride home with you. He’d go into overprotective mode immediately, and he’d never get to see his sister, or his mother's grave. You knew he needed that right now. So you kept your secret. 

“Guess I’m getting old.” You said. 

“You’re not old, amor.” Javier scoffed, jabbing his finger into your side. You squealed and squirmed in his grasp.

“Well maybe domestic life has made me soft and weak.” You said dramatically. 

“Now that’s not possible. You’ll be a warrior woman until the day you die.” He said. You chuckled. 

“I don’t know then.” you said, shrugging. 

“Well as long as you’re alright, mi amor.” He said, you turned in his grasp and pressed your lips against his. 

“I’m fine, I promise.” you whispered against his lips. You felt his hands slide down your hips, tracing your curves gently beneath his calloused hands, silently asking. You answered by moving your knees so they were on either side of his thighs, sitting yourself on his lap. He gasped when he felt your wet core rub against him. 

“You weren’t kidding about being wet there, mi amor.” He growled in your ear, rubbing his face against your neck so that his mustache tickled your skin. “How lewd.” He mumbled. You laughed and rubbed down against his hard cock. He groaned. 

“Don’t act all innocent with me, mister.” You huffed. “You’re just as ready as I am, it seems.” You purred in his ear. His hands spread over your ass, helping to lift you enough that you could lower yourself down onto him. 

“You’ve been thinking about this all day then?” He asked, moaning as your wet warmth wrapped around him. You tilted your head back, relishing in the feeling of him moving inside of you. 

“Yes.” You gasped. Javier leaned forward and pressed his face between your breasts, licking and kissing the overly sensitive skin. You gasped and twitched under his affections. He hummed, causing you to squirm. 

“Sensitive there, are we?” He asked. You just grumbled at him and squeezed tight around him. He gasped and growled in your ear. “Touche” He chuckled. You slowly began grinding your hips against his, moving him inside of you. You looked down at him. He was watching you, his eyes practically sparkling with affection. You felt almost proud at how much he loved you. But you loved him just as much.

You ran your fingers through his hair, tugging it loose from its ponytail. You combed his hair affectionately with your fingers, letting it flow freely over his shoulders. A strand of his hair brushed across your breast, and you shivered. God you were sensitive there now. Javier just chuckled and pressed more soft kisses to your breasts, keeping it soft and loving. 

Slowly his lips moved up your neck and to your chin. You tilted your head back, giving him better access. His teeth grazed against your skin, scratching but not hurting. Goosebumps ran along your arms at the feeling, and you felt him smile triumphantly against your skin. 

Neither of you were in any rush. Tonight was more about slow, sensual touches than rough wild sex. So you kept your movements lazy, though you picked up the pace a little. You held his head tightly to you, loving the feel of his lips on your skin. 

Javier whispered sweet pet names against you, praising you as you continued to move. His hips moved with yours in a sensual dance, and you groaned at the feeling. You gasped and jerked away slightly as Javier’s mustache rubbed against your nipple. Javier furrowed his brows in concern. 

“You’re very sensitive there, amor. You sure you’re okay?” He asked. You nodded, pressing your lips to his to stop him from asking again. He matched your kisses. His arms gently wrapped around you and he lifted you up and flipped you onto your back. 

His lips trailed down your body, carefully kissing down your cleavage so as not to hurt your sensitive breasts. He kissed down your stomach, making his way to your center. You sighed blissfully and spread your knees wider for him. 

“Beautiful.” He murmured as he stared lovingly at your center. His fingers gently spread you open so he had a better view, before he leaned forward and lapped at your pearl. You shuddered in pleasure. His lips latched on, sucking against you perfectly. 

“Tell me when you’re going to finish, amor.” Javier said, his lips vibrating against you as he spoke. “I want to be inside you when you cum.” He said before focusing once more on your center. Slowly he worked you up toward your peak. You felt that pressure building in your core, making your thigh muscles clench. Your breathing was growing shallow. 

“Javi,” you panted, tugging lightly on his hair. In one quick movement he moved up your body and pushed inside of you once more. You let out a sound somewhere between a sigh and a sob, loving the full feeling of him inside of you. The way your core ached so good with his every move. 

He hovered over you, supporting his weight on his elbows, his body just inches over yours. You kissed him hungrily, and he matched your kiss, thrusting lazily into you, making sure to grind his hips against you perfectly. 

“Javi, Javi.” You groaned as your orgasm approached. “Papi!” You whimpered as your body shook with your orgasm. Javier groaned as he felt you tighten around him, and you felt the warmth spread through you as he spilled his seed inside of you. 

Javier snuggled up against you, his breathing ragged as he slowly came down from his high. Gently he rolled you over so that you were laying on top of him, his cock still inside of you. 

“I love you, Javier.” You murmured, pressing kisses to his chest. Your fingers twirled through his chest hair, loving the feel of the fine curls against the pads of your fingers.

“I love you too.” He sighed, gently scratching your back. You scooted up slightly so that your face could rest in the crook of his neck. He sighed once more and held you close. The two of you fell asleep like that, holding each other naked in the cave. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The storm was still raging on the next morning, and the desert below you looked like a swamp as flash floods swept through the sand dunes. The two of you were thankfully high enough up that you wouldn’t get washed away by the floods, but you were stuck in the cave until the rain let up and the flooding went down. 

Once your clothes had dried you pulled on your chemise and bloomers, not liking being so vulnerable when anyone could come along seeking shelter in the same cave you were in. Javier wore his pants loose around his hips. 

The two of you spent the day snuggling in each other's arms, talking about random things. You reminisced about your time with the gang, told each other childhood stories, discussed politics and whatever else the conversation led to. Sometimes you were silent, just holding each other and enjoying spending time together. You weren’t sure when you’d been able to have a lazy day like this. It had been quite a while. 

As night fell, the rain stopped, and slowly the flooding receded. By about midnight, you both deemed it safe to continue your journey. You carefully picked your way down the hillside and back onto the trail. 

Javier led the way, knowing these roads like he’d only left Mexico yesterday. As the sun was beginning to rise, the city of Chuparosa came into view. The houses were similar to Escalera, though Chuparosa was smaller. The buildings were spread out more than Escalera, giving the town a more open feeling. 

“I should have asked Alejandro what house she lived in.” Javier grumbled cursing himself. The little town was beginning to wake, with shops opening and beginning to ready for the day. Along with that, army soldiers were beginning to patrol the street. Javier casually looked away, hiding his face. 

“Let me see what I can find out. You just... don’t look suspicious.” You said, dismounting. You hoped your spanish didn’t fail you now. You approached one of the shopkeepers.” 

“Excuse me, Señor.” You said, grabbing his attention. He turned around, surprised that you even spoke any spanish. “Could you help me? I am looking for an old friend of mine. Ana is her name. Escuella would have been her maiden name. I don’t know what her married name is.” You said. The man thought for a moment. 

“Well, I’m not sure if her maiden name is Escuella, but there’s a woman by the name of Ana who lives with her husband just down the way.” He said. He gave you some quick directions. You nodded your thanks. 

“Thank you, Señor.” you said, turning away.

“You’re welcome, Señorita.” He said. You walked back to where Javier was waiting, casually keeping his face covered, pretending to study a map.

“This way.” You said, taking your horse’s reins. Javier dismounted and the two of you walked side by side down the street, Javier walking between the two horses so he was more hidden. Soon a house that matched the description given to you by the shopkeeper came into view. 

Javier looked nervous. It had been ten years, maybe even more, since he had seen his sister. Of course he was nervous. What if something bad had happened to her? What if she didn’t recognize him? What if she hated him? You knew all these thoughts were spinning over and over in his head. You moved so you were walking between the horses as well and held his hand, squeezing it reassuringly. He gave you a smile, but you could see right through it. 

You hitched your horses down the way from the house before the two of you approached the front door. Javier took a deep breath, then knocked on the wooden door. You could hear someone shuffling inside, and the door opened. 

You knew immediately it was Ana. The family resemblance was uncanny. Her eyes were the same warm brown, her hair the same silky smooth black. Their faces were the same shape, though her features were softer, more feminine. When she opened the door she wore an annoyed look that was identical to the one Javier makes when disturbed. Her lips were a little fuller than his, but her mouth fell in the same line that Javier’s did. 

You watched as her expression shifted from annoyed to confused to shocked. She and Javier stared at each other a moment, not believing what they were seeing. It was silent, and you weren’t about to interrupt their moment. You stayed a step behind Javier, just waiting. 

“Javier?” She asked hesitantly, as if not even daring to hope. 

“Hello, Ana.” He said. You could practically hear the smile in his voice. The same smile that was currently pulling at Ana’s. She let out a squeal of joy and leapt at him, throwing her arms around him. Javier laughed and hugged her tightly. “Oh Ana. It’s so good to see you.” He said. 

“You too, brother.” She said. “I’ve missed you so much. I have so much I need to tell you. What...” She gasped and pulled away, looking around to see if anyone was watching. “Idioto!” She said, cuffing the back of his head, knocking his hat to the ground. “What the hell are you doing here, huh? Are you trying to get yourself killed? Whos this?” She paused, finally noticing you. 

“Ana, this is my--” 

“Nevermind. Just get in here, both of you, before you get yourselves killed. She said, pulling you both inside and shutting the door behind her quickly. She drew the open curtains and lit a lantern. 

“I knew you were stupid, brother, but I never thought you were stupid enough to come back to Nuevo Paraíso.” She grumbled as she lit the lantern. 

“I had to make sure you were safe, that you were happy.” Javier said. Ana rolled her eyes in annoyance. “I also wanted to introduce you to my wife.” He said, draping his arm around your waist. 

“Your wife...” She said, studying you closely. 

“Buenos días.” You said, introducing yourself. She eyed you carefully, shocked. 

“Mama, who is this?” A little voice caught your attention. A young boy, maybe 9, stood in the hallway, studying you both. He was dressed in a nightshirt, still wiping the sleep from his eyes.

“This is your Uncle Javier, mijito.” Ana said happily, reaching out a hand for him. The little boy took her hand and looked you both up and down. “And his wife.” She added, giving you a half smile. You couldn’t blame her for how she was acting. It must be very jarring to have your long lost brother and his american wife show up on your doorstep at the crack of dawn. “This is my son. He’s named Javier as well.” She looked up at your husband. “After you.” She had tears in her eyes. Javier looked like he was trying, and failing, to hold back tears of his own. 

“It’s very nice to meet you.” Javier said, crouching down so he was at eye level with the young boy. His nephew gave him a shy smile. 

“You too, sir.” He said. He glanced at you and shook himself, as if remembering his manners. “And you, Señora.” He said, sweeping in a low bow and taking the back of your hand, kissing it with all the flourish his uncle had. You did your best to suppress a laugh. Some things just ran in the family, you supposed. 

“It’s nice to meet you too.” You said. Little Javier furrowed his brows at you. 

“What’s your accent?” He asked. You laughed. 

“I’m an American. Spanish isn’t my first language. I hope you can understand me, even if I don’t say things right.” You said. He chewed his lip. 

“I can understand you, it just sounds funny.” He said. 

“Sorry about that.” You said. 

“I guess its not your fault.” He shrugged. 

“Alright, mihito, go get dressed and ready for the day.” Ana said, pushing him gently back down the hall. She turned back to you. “I’m sorry about that. He’s never met a gringa before. Your Spanish is wonderful.” She assured you. You just shook your head. 

“It’s alright.” You assured her. “He’s a sweet boy.” Ana nodded in agreement. 

“Javier what in God's name are you doing here? It’s one thing to try to get yourself killed, but to drag your wife into it?!” Ana hissed. 

“I just had to see you, Ana. I had to make sure you were safe.” He said. “And as for my love here, she can take care of herself.” He said. You patted the gun holster strapped to your belt. “She nearly killed me the first time we met.” Javier said fondly. 

“She should have finished the job and spared the army the trouble.” Ana teased dryly. “I’m fine, Javier. You shouldn’t have come.” She sighed and hugged him tightly once more. “But I’m glad you’re here. How did you find me?” 

“Alejandro wrote to me some when I first left Mexico. He told me you’d moved away. And he told me about... about mama.” He said. Ana nodded sadly. “I went to Escalera looking for Alejandro. He and Rosa told us you were living here.” Ana nodded again and pulled away from him. 

“I’m fine, Javier.” She assured him. The three of you sat down in some simple wooden chairs, and began catching up. Ana told you about her life, how she’d met her husband when he was traveling to Escalera for business. He’d courted her every time he came to Escalera, which seemed to be more and more often as their love grew. Eventually he’d asked her to marry him and she’d said yes without even having to think on it. 

Their mother had loved her new son-in-law, and he was very kind to her. When Ana had decided to move to Chuparosa, it had been his idea that she bring her mother along. Her mother hadn’t wanted to go at first, always holding out some hope that Javier may be able to return someday and that she should be there waiting for him. But eventually Ana had convinced her to come with. 

It wasn’t long before little Javier jr. had been born, much to his grandmother's delight. She’d doted on her grandson every day until she’d died peacefully in her bed a few years later. 

Javier summarized what he’d been doing in America. How Dutch had found him, how he’d run with the gang for many years, until it fell apart. How the two of you had made a life for yourself just across the river. 

“I’m so glad you found some peace, Javier.” Ana said sincerely. “After being a wild boy your whole life, you’ve finally grown into the man mama always knew you’d be.” She said. She reached out and took one of Javier’s hands, and one of yours. “I’m very glad you both came, even if it was a stupid idea.”

“Mama! Mama!” You heard Javier jr. call, bursting in through the front door and shutting it behind him, bracing his little body up against it. You hadn’t even realized he’d gone outside. The three of you had been so caught up in swapping stories. “They’re looking for Uncle Javier!” He said, looking near tears but doing his best to keep a stoic face. 

“Who is, mijito?” Ana asked calmly. 

“The soldiers? Someone said they saw him riding around town, and saw a gringa asking for you.” He said. 

“You two need to get out of here, quickly.” Ana whispered. Javier nodded and took your hand. 

“Wait.” You said. “They saw me asking for Ana. What are they going to think if they find Ana here without me? They’ll know I was with you, and they’ll know we were here.” Javier furrowed his brow, confusion all over his face. “What will the do to Ana?” You asked. He seemed to understand. If the soldiers came searching for the gringa that was looking for Ana, who they suspected may be with a notorious revolutionary with a bounty on his head, and you weren’t here chatting with Ana, they’d do whatever they could to get information from her. 

“What then, we just sit here and let them find us?” Javier asked. 

“No. You go.” You said. 

“Mi amor--” He began

“She’s right, Javier.” Ana said. “If they find her here with me, they’ll know she wasn’t with you, and the pressure will slack some, guessing it was just a mistake.” Ana turned to you. “What did you tell people when you were asking after me?”

“I said we were old friends.” You said, thinking, coming up with some cover story. “My father was a diplomat. Mother and I used to travel with him when he came to Mexico. I was a lonely girl looking for a friend, and I met you when we were children. I was in the area and heard you were living here, so I came to visit.” You said. Ana nodded. 

“Perfect.” She turned back to Javier. “Go, Javier.” he hesitated, his eyes locked on yours. 

“I’ll leave after dark and come find you.” 

“Wait for her by Las Hermanas. She’ll meet you there. Go.” Ana hissed. 

“I’ll be fine, Javier. Just go.” You said. Javier grabbed you and pulled you close, smashing his lips against yours. 

“See you tonight, amor.” 

“See you tonight.” You said.

“Here, wear this. That way you’re less recognizable.” Ana said, grabbing a sombrero and handing it to Javier. He also yanked off his jacket and handed it to you. You tucked it into your satchel. 

“Thank you, Ana.” Javier said, giving her a quick kiss on her cheek. 

“Take care of yourself, Javier.” She said. He bent down and gave his namesake a quick hug before he slipped out the back door. 

Not a moment too soon, it seemed. No sooner had the back door closed behind him than a pounding came from the front door. Ana quickly set down two glasses on the table, and you sat in front of one. Without looking, you took a sip of the drink. It was sweet and creamy. You’d have to ask Ana for the recipe.

Ana opened the door, and you did your best to look at the door curiously from where you sat. Three soldiers stood at the front door. 

“We’re looking for a gringa, someone said she was asking after you.” The man said bluntly.

“Yes, she’s here. My old friend came to visit me, isn’t she sweet.” Ana said. You stood, still holding your creamy drink, and came to the door. 

“Hello.” You said, smiling at the soldiers. “What can I do for you gentlemen?” You asked. 

“We received a tip this morning that a gringa was seen riding into town with a known bandito.” The first soldier said. 

“Well it’s true I arrived in town just this morning. But I wasn’t with any bandito as far as I know. Just my guide, Pedro.” You said, you looked over at Ana. “Goodness. Do you think he was really a bandit? I’m lucky to be alive.” 

“Very lucky, my dear.” Ana agreed. “Just think what could have happened.” 

“The bandito in question is believed to have been your brother, Señora.” The soldier said, eyeing Ana suspiciously. “Javier Escuella.” 

“Javier?” Ana said, looking shocked. She was quite the actress. “I haven’t heard from him in years. Last I heard he’d run off to Cuba or Guarma.” Ana turned to you. “You remember my brother, don’t you? Did your guide look anything like him?” She asked. You paused as if considering. 

“No, I don’t believe so. If he did, then Javier has changed quite a lot.” You said. 

“Where is this guide of yours now?” The soldier asked. 

“Oh he left the moment he got me to Ana’s door.” You said. “I believe he went back to Escalara.” You shrugged. 

“Do you mind if we search the house?” The guard asked. 

“Now really is that necessary?” Ana huffed. 

“If you have nothing to hide, then this should be quick and easy.” The guard shrugged. Ana sighed and turned to you. 

“I’m sorry, my dear. It seems I have no choice. I hope this wont spoil our afternoon together.” She said. 

“Not at all, dear. Come back and sit at the table. You can continue telling me about your son’s birth.” You said. The guards visibly flinched at the idea of ‘woman talk.’ Ana nodded and the two of you sat back at the table. Javier jr. sat on the floor at your feet, reading a book. 

“Where was I?” Ana asked. “Oh that’s right. So as I was pushing, apparently I tore something.” She said. You gasped, not an entirely fake gasp. God that sounded awful. But it did what you’d both been hoping. The soldiers made their search very quick, and left. The two of you waited a few minutes, continuing your discussion until you were certain they were gone. You and Ana exchanged smiles, and you couldn’t suppress a laugh. 

“Oh that was perfect. Their faces when you mentioned...” You paused. Ana looked at you knowingly. 

“How far along are you then?” she asked. You stared at her in shock. She took your hand. “I know how terrifying the whole process can be. Your face when I said it was almost as priceless at theirs.” She giggled. “It’s much scarier when the whole thing is looming in front of you.” You nodded.

“I’m not too far along. A month or two I think.” You said. She nodded. “I haven’t told him yet.” You admitted. 

“Why not?” She asked, frowning. 

“I guess I’m just... nervous about how he’ll react. We’ve never talked about it before, and things have been really hard on him the last few years.” 

“If you’re both participating in the act of making children, he should be prepared to have children.” Ana giggled. “I’m sure he’ll be thrilled.” she said. She paused for a moment and stood up. She began digging through a cabinet until she found what she was looking for. 

She returned to the table carrying a small handwoven blanket, and a silver spoon. She set them both in front of you. 

“I want you to have these.” She said. My mother wove the blanket for Javier jr. when he was born. It was his first swaddle. I’m unable to bear any more children, but I think she’d be very happy if her second grandchild were wrapped in it as well.” You were close to tears, your damn hormones making you more emotional than normal. 

“And the spoon?” You asked, coughing slightly to cover your emotions. Ana raised an eyebrow at you. 

“You’ve never seen an apostle spoon before?” She asked. You shook your head sheepishly. 

“I’m, uh, not particularly religious.” You admitted. Ana tutted. 

“You were almost the perfect sister-in-law.” She teased. You both laughed. “It’s Saint Jude, the patron saint of Lost Causes.” She explained. “Mother gave this to Javier when he was born. While his life has certainly been... rocky, I think Saint Jude has certainly watched over him, especially now that he has you. The biggest lost cause has been to settle down, yet here he is, with a wife and a child on the way.” She said. “Give it to the child when they’re Baptized or... Christened or whatever you’re going to do.” She huffed. 

“It matters more to Javier than me. I’m sure it will be a Baptism in a Catholic church.” You assured her. She smiled. You carefully wrapped the spoon in the blanket and tucked both into your satchel. 

“Oh. Before I forget, Ana, where is your mother buried. Javier really wanted to visit her.” You asked. Ana smiled. 

“He’s already on his way there.” She said. “Mama wanted to be buried at Las Hermanas, an abbey nearby. She was a devout woman, and wanted to be buried somewhere nice.” you nodded, unable to hide your smile. Ana was just as crafty as her brother. 

~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Once night fell, you stepped out of Ana’s house, giving her and Javier jr. more hugs than you could count. You’d spent the day with her, listening to stories about her childhood with Javier. She’d also written down a number of recipes for you, so you could make horchata, as you learned the creamy drink was called, as well as other traditional recipes. Make sure your child at least had a taste of their heritage, and give Javier a taste of home every now and then. 

“Follow the traintracks.” Ana instructed, pointing at the tracks as they left the station, heading south-east. “They’ll take you straight to Las Hermanas.” She hugged your tightly. “Ride fast, ride safe, and get my brother safely home to New Austin.” She whispered. 

“I’ll take care of him, I promise.” You slipped her a piece of paper. “Write to us here under that alias. We’ll get it. Could we also send you letters?” You asked. She nodded fiercely. 

“Be well, sister.” Ana said, hugging you again. You froze for a moment, not used to the idea of having a sister. But you liked it. 

“Take care.” You said, hugging her back. “I’m sorry we couldn’t stay to meet your husband.” Ana waved you off. 

“It is what it is. He won’t be back from his trip for at least another week. At least you both got to meet Javier jr.” She said, pulling her son close. 

“It was very nice to meet you, tía.” He said, hugging you tightly, burying his face into your skirt to hide the fact that he was near crying. You held him close. 

“I’m so glad I met you.” you said. When Javier jr. let go, you finally mounted your horse and rode off, following the tracks. You glanced behind you. Ana and her son were standing out on the street watching you ride away into the distance. Your heart ached. You could only imagine how Javier felt. 

The ride to Las Hermanas was easy. You didn’t pass a soul on the road, and the cool night air was nice after the hot summer days. Soon you saw the convent appearing in the distance, the clear church bell signaling that it was midnight. You slowed as you approached, glancing around. A low whistle grabbed your attention, and you saw a dark silhouette of a man and his horse leaning up against a tree not far from the abby. 

You hurried over, racing into your lovers arms. He held you tightly, lifting you off your feet slightly. You breathed in his scent, assuring yourself that it was him, and he was safe. 

“You got away okay?” He asked. You nodded. He hugged you tightly once more. “Come on. We’d better get going. If we ride hard, we may just cross the border tonight.” 

“Wait. There’s still one more person we need to visit.” You said. Javier studied you, confusion written all over his face. You took his hand, and led him away from the convent, East, like Ana had told you. The cemetery came into view. Most of the graves were old and decaying, overgrown with wild beauty. But one single grave was loyally polished and maintained. 

Javier let out a choked sob when he saw the name Maria Escuella carved carefully into the tombstone. He fell to his knees, bowing his head and crossing himself lovingly. You stood behind him, giving him a moment. When his shoulders began to shake with silent grief, you fell to your knees beside him and wrapped your arms around him. 

He’d been told years ago of her passing. But being so far away, he could never confirm it, could never get that closure he needed. There was always that little part of him that could hope that the information was wrong, and that his mother was alive and healthy. Seeing her grave crushed that last grain of hope. Suddenly the strong man in your arms was the wild little boy once more, desperate for his mother. 

You held him tightly against you and let him weep, let him grieve for the woman who raised him and loved him and tried to shape him into a good man. The woman he no doubt felt he let down. The woman who died with her son hundreds of miles away, in another country. 

Javier clung to your clothes tightly as he sobbed. You stroked his hair gently and hummed a simple tune to him, trying to offer whatever comfort you could, trying to ground him to you. Slowly his sobs quieted, though his tears never stopped. 

“Hola, Señora.” You began, staring down at the tombstone in front of you. “I am honored to meet you. Javier has told me so much about you.” Javier sniffled but didn’t pull away, listening to the words you were saying to his late mother. “I’m Javier’s wife. Well... er... I suppose we never made it official in front of god but... um...” You were nervous speaking to your mother-in-law, and she wasn’t even there in front of you. “I... I know I’m maybe not what you pictured for a daughter-in-law. I’m as wild as Javier and at least as stupid, if not more so.” You said, chuckling. “But I love him very much. I’ll take care of him for as long as he’ll let me, and I’ll love him for the rest of my life. I’m glad we were able to come and visit, if only for a short bit. And... and even if they aren’t here, yet, I wanted you to meet your grandbaby.” Javier was still for a moment, processing your words.

“Grandbaby?” He asked, looking up at you, then down at your stomach, then back up at you. “You’re… are you pregnant, mi amor?” he asked. You nodded. Javier sat up straight, arms wrapped around you, pulling you close as he covered your face in kisses. You couldn’t suppress your giggled. 

“Did you hear that, mama.” Javier said, turning excitedly to look at her grave. “I’m going to be a papa.” He said excitedly. He let out a joyful grito, which you attempted to shush, laughing all the while. Javier combed his fingers through his hair, unbelieving. “I’m going to be a father.” He said, sitting back on his heels. 

“Yes. You are.” You said, pulling him in for a quick kiss. “And even if they aren’t born yet, they still got to come and meet your cousin, and your sister, and their cousin, and their abuelita.” You said. Tears began streaming down Javier’s cheeks once more. He cupped your face in his hands and peppered a thousand kisses over your face, until you were a giggling mess. 

“Oh mi amor, you’re so incredible.” He said. He paused for a moment, then turned back to look at his mother’s grave. “Did you hear that, mama? I’m going to be a father. I’ve finally found my place in the world, by this womans side.” He said, pulling you close. “I’m finally becoming the man you wanted me to be.” He sighed. You leaned your head against his shoulder, and the two of you stared down at the grave before you. “I love you, mama.” Javier said, kissing his fingers, then pressing them to the tombstone. You did the same, placing your fingers on the other side of the rounded stone. 

“Come on, amor.” Javier said finally, standing and offering you a hand to help you to your feet. “Lets get home and start living.” He said. You nodded and walked with him hand in hand back to where the horses were waiting. 

“Oh, watch out for that rock, mi amor.” Javier said, carefully guiding you around a small rock sticking up from the ground. “Oh careful, careful, don’t trip over that root.” He said, lifting you up by your waist and setting you safely on the other side of the small tree root. You groaned. 

“Don’t tell me you’re going to be like this for the next 7 months.” You sighed. He just grinned at you and gave you a peck on the lips before guiding you toward the horses. 

“Of course I am, amor. You’re carrying precious cargo.” He said. He frowned and paused, looking at the horses. “What if your horse bucks you? Or your fall? What if your horse trips and you--” 

“Javi,” You groaned, irritated and amused. You glanced behind you at the grave, and for a moment you could practically feel the warm smile your late mother-in-law was giving you both as she watched you walk away. You blew one last kiss in her direction before you allowed Javier to help you onto the back of your horse, talking non-stop about all the dangers that might hurt you or take the baby from you. Yes he’d be a good father. He’d finally found his place in the world.


	2. Water

“Thank you again, Mrs. Escuella.” Bonnie MacFarlane said as she strapped a large bison pelt to the back of your little mule. “You know, I could have come out to your farm. It wouldn’t have been any trouble. I don’t like the thought of you making the journey in your condition.” She said, glancing over at your swollen belly. 

You were about 7 months gone. The child in your belly seemed to grow every day. But that wasn’t going to stop you from working. Javier’s jobs brought in money, but you weren’t exactly rolling in it. It was nice to have some extra income from your jobs. 

You had a little farm with some chickens and some fruit trees and a small plot of vegetables that you could sell. Your most lucrative job was curing and tanning pelts and then turning them into clothing, bedding, rugs, and other things. For example, Mrs. MacFarlane was currently giving you a bison pelt to make her some new trousers and line a coat. 

“I don’t mind, Mrs. MacFarlane.” You replied. “I have to come into Armadillo most days anyway to sell eggs and god knows I’m usually out of something at home. Besides,” you patted your mule’s neck, “Rocky here does the heavy lifting for me. It’s really no trouble.” 

“What about all those strong chemicals used in tanning. Doesn’t it make you sick?” She asked. You just smiled. Bonnie was a tough woman on the outside, but she was kind, and worried about everyone. 

“I don’t use chemicals. I use a more natural process an old friend taught me.” You said. “Don’t worry, Mrs. MacFarlane. I wouldn’t be offering my services if I thought it’d hurt me or my baby,” you assured her. 

“No, I suppose not.” Bonnie mused. You smiled and began checking that the pelt was tied securely to your saddle. 

“Your husband did a great job at keeping those coyotes away from my chickens,” Bonnie remarked. You smiled. 

“Javier is an excellent shot.” 

“He is. I doubt those coyotes will be back any time soon.” Bonnie laughed. “Though my father hopes they will, just so he can get his fishing buddy up our way again.” The two of you laughed. Javier and Mr. MacFarlane had become close friends after a day of fishing. Any time Javier went up to work a job for the MacFarlanes, they spent a day out on the river.

“Tell you what,” You said, patting the bison hide. “By the time I’m done, I’ll be too far along for longer journeys. And I’m sure with fall coming, you’ll be busy on the farm to come get it. Maybe Javier will have to come up and bring you the finished product himself.” You said, grinning at her mischievously. Bonnie laughed. 

“That may be.” She laughed. 

You heard someone calling your name, a voice you hadn’t heard for many years. But you’d recognize the sweet rasp of Sadie Adler anywhere. You turned with a smile to see her dismounting her horse not far away and striding over. She wore mostly black and red now, her cheap, worn gun belt traded in for something much nicer. 

“Sadie!” You said excitedly. 

“I thought that was you. How you been, lady?” Sadie asked, pulling you in close for a hug, well as close as she could. “What in the hell have you done? Gotten all domestic on me?” Sadie laughed, looking down at your belly. 

“I’ll see you later, Mrs. Escuella,” Bonnie called, turning to continue about her business. 

“See you later, Mrs. MacFarlane. I’ll send word when your clothes are ready.” You replied. 

“I’ve told you, call me Bonnie.” She huffed, 

“Only when you call me by my name,” You grinned in response. Bonnie chuckled and tipped her hat at you before hopping on her horse and trotting out of Armadillo. You turned your attention back to Sadie. “It is so good to see you!” you cried, pulling her in for another hug. She chuckled and hugged you, patting your back affectionately. 

“You too, lady.” Sadie replied warmly. “What have you been up to?” 

“A lot,” you chuckled. 

“I can see that,” Sadie scoffed, looking down at your belly once more. “Married then?” She asked. You nodded. 

“Well… sort of. It's a long story. Come on, let's get out of this heat. I’ve never been good with heat, and it’s only gotten worse since I got pregnant.” You huffed, fanning yourself. Sadie removed her hat and fanned you gently, linking her arm with yours. The two of you strode down the street toward the saloon. Well Sadie strode. You waddled. 

The saloon was dark and cooler than outside. Sadie helped you sit down at a table before sitting across from you. 

“So, who’s the lucky man? Someone I know?” She asked. You hesitated, fiddling with your skirt for a moment. You knew Sadie wasn’t going to like your answer. She wasn’t at Beaver Hollow during that final stand off, but John had told all of you everything you needed to know. 

“Yeah,” you finally said, not meeting her gaze. “Javier.” You said. Sadie was quiet for a moment. 

“You got back with that son-of-a-bitch? Even after what he did when…” She didn’t say anything more. You nodded and told her everything. Told her about how you found him in Valentine some time after it all went down, a drunken shell of himself. How the two of you had reconciled and built a life in New Austin. How he regretted everything that had happened. 

“I guess love really is blind,” Sadie mused, leaning back in her chair. 

“It's not…” you sighed. “I think maybe you should talk to Javier. I think you should hear it all from him.” Sadie looked doubtful. “Just come home with me. I’ll feed you for the night, and maybe you and Javier can talk.” Sadie was quiet for a moment. 

“Well,” She sighed, pushing herself out of her chair. “I supposed I at least should make sure you get home safe. The fact that he lets you travel alone out here with all those Del Lobos bandits running around.” She shook her head, offering you a hand up. 

“Since when have you ever known me to take orders from a man?” You asked, raising an eyebrow at her as you let her help you up. “Just because I look like I swallowed a melon doesn’t mean I can’t still shoot a gun if need be.” you huffed. Sadie chuckled. 

“Well, at least domestic life ain’t made you soft.” She chuckled. The two of you stepped out of the saloon. You both walked back down the street to where her horse was waiting alongside your little mule. 

“What happened to your horse?” She asked.

“Ah, she came up lame yesterday. So I brought the mule in today. Besides,” you said, carefully pulling yourself up into the saddle. “He’s shorter, easier to mount up. He’s also not as jumpy. He’d rather trample a snake than dodge it. So he’s a little safer to ride.” You loved your little Nakota, but she was a spitfire, and could be difficult to ride. 

“Fair enough.” Sadie said, pulling herself up into the saddle. “Lead the way, missy. Lets see this grand domestic of yours.” 

“I never said it was grand,” you chuckled, steering the mule down the road and headed out of town. “But it is home.” you led the way down the path, going at a brisk walk. “So what have you been up to since I saw you last?” 

“Bounty hunting, mostly,” Sadie said. “I’m gettin’ pretty good at it too.” She said. 

“I’m sure you are,” you said, grinning. It seemed like the perfect job for Sadie. “Is the pay any good?” 

“Oh yeah,” Sadie said, nodding. “Why, you thinking of doing some bounty work once the little one’s out?” She asked. You chuckled. 

“Nah. Not me. Not anymore. But Javi’s always been good at bounty hunting. He’s been talking about taking it up to bring in some more money.” 

“And you’d be okay with your man risking his life and chasing bounties?” Sadie asked. You sighed. 

“Its not ideal but…” you shook your head. “He ain’t exactly a bank manager or a grocery boy, or a farmer. He’s built quite the reputation for helping people out. Escorting caravans and retrieving stolen wagons and shootin’ coyotes and the like. But I think he’d like to do more than that, and I don’t blame him. We’ve been discussing bounty hunting, but that ain’t exactly a job for a family man.” You shrugged. “Was just curious I guess.” 

“Well it ain’t so simple as a nice city job, but if you’re smart it’s not the worst job a person could have.” Sadie mused. 

The two of you turned off the main road up the path to your house. It wasn’t anything fancy. A little two-room cottage with a barn for the animals, a shed for your leather working, and some land growing food. Javier kept talking about adding on more rooms to the house, though you weren’t sure how he planned to do that, or with what money. Your husband always had grand ideas. But you were content with your little plot of land. 

You whistled a little tune as you neared the house, your standard greeting to let Javier know it was just you. Even after all these years, you were both a little paranoid, so whistling your little tune put each other at ease. 

“Must be napping,” You mused when he didn’t come outside. “He got in at sunrise this morning after escorting some homesteaders out toward Tumbleweed. We’ll get the horses settled and I’m sure the noise of us being home will wake him.” Sadie nodded and followed you into the barn. Boaz and your horse rested in the barn, munching on some hay. A couple cows occupied the other side of the barn, along with two goats. Nothing fancy, but they produced milk, which you could sell or eat. 

“You can put your horse in the spare stall there,” you said as you dismounted and led the mule into its stall. You began undoing the buckles on the saddle to remove it. Sadie stopped you. 

“No heavy lifting. I know that much. I’ve got this,” Sadie ordered. You grinned and stepped back, letting her unsaddle your mule and remove the bison pelt. 

“Thanks, Sadie. The pelt goes in that little shed south of the barn.” You said. Sadie nodded and slung the pelt over her shoulder, walking out of the barn. You brushed down your mule and then went to Sadie’s horse to loosen it’s girth. 

“Amor? Is that you?” Javier called. 

“It’s me,” you called back. “We’ve got company,” you added, so as not to surprise him. A moment later you heard footsteps entering the barn, and you peaked around Sadie’s horse, smiling at your sleepy-looking husband. His hair was a little ruffled, a few creases across his cheeks from where he was laying. You giggled and pulled him in for a quick kiss. 

“Nice nap?” you asked. He nodded. 

“How was town? And Mrs. MacFarlane?” He asked. 

“Fine. She says her father misses fishing with you. I said you may be the one delivering her new trousers to her. Better take your fishing rod with you when you do.” you winked. He chuckled and rested a hand on your belly. He crouched down in front of you, pressing a soft kiss against your shirt. 

“And how are you, mi tesorito?” 

“They’re fine too.” you giggled, running your fingers through his hair for a quick moment. He smiled up at you and stood, pulling you in for another quick kiss. 

“You said we had company?” He asked. 

“Howdy, Javier,” Sadie said dryly, grabbing Javier’s attention. Javier blinked in surprise, backing out of the stall so he could get a better look. 

“Sadie,” He said, “It’s good to see you,” He said, a little meekly. Sadie just hummed, looking Javier up and down. “How have things been?” He asked. 

“What, since you turned against John and Arthur?” Sadie snapped. Javier winced visibly. You stepped forward and grabbed his hand. 

“Why don’t we all go inside?” you suggested. Sadie looked over at you for a moment. 

“Nah. I should get going. I only said I was gonna make sure you got home safe.” She said, stepping forward toward her horse. 

“Sadie wait, please,” You said, grabbing her hand. She turned to look at you. “Please. Stay. Let me cook you a decent meal and…” you glanced back and Javier, who nodded, then back at Sadie, “And maybe we can talk about everything that happened.” Sadie looked hesitant. “Please.” you said again. Sadie sighed. 

“Damn you got some puppy-dog eyes on you.” She huffed. “Fine. I’ll stay for dinner.” She relented. You grinned widely and hugged her. 

“Thank you.” you said. 

“Yeah, yeah,” She chuckled, hugging you quickly before pushing you gently off of her. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

The first couple hours were tense. You tried making polite conversation while the three of you peeled potatoes and chopped carrots for supper, but it always fizzled out with a snide comment from Sadie. 

You were starting to think this was a bad idea. You knew Javier still carried guilt from that fateful night. That he regretted everything that had happened and felt responsible for Arthur’s death. Even if he never pointed his gun at Arthur or John, he still took sides against them. You had been hoping that talking with Sadie may help him find closure somehow, but she seemed bound and determined to make things worse. 

Finally, as you were seasoning the roast you were going to cook and setting it in the pan with the chopped vegetables, they seemed to hit a breakthrough. 

“You keep staring at me like that,” Javier said, sounding a little nervous. “Why are you staring?” 

“I’m just tryin’ to figure out why she went back to you after all that.” Sadie said. “You should have seen her that night, when John told her what you’d done. It destroyed her.” Sadie growled. You hadn’t realized how protective Sadie was of you. She seemed ready to murder Javier soely for the way his actions at Beaver Hollow had hurt you. 

“She cried until Tilly and I had to drag her to her feet and pull her away.” Sadie continued through gritted teeth. “Knowing how you’d betrayed her family, betrayed her?” You didn’t say anything. This conversation wasn’t for you, even if it was about you. You just continued working on seasoning the roast and heating your small wood-burning oven.

“A couple mornings later, she was gone before any of us woke up. Ran off on her own. I half-thought she’d run off to jump off a bridge or…” Sadie shook her head. “Tracked her down until I found she’d gotten a job in Rhodes. I knew she wanted to start over, forget everything, forget you. So I left her alone. If I’d have known you’d find her in Valentine and play her emotions until she trusted you again, I would’ve stuck around.” 

“That’s not what happened,” Javier said. “I didn’t go looking for her. I knew better than that. I knew what I’d done was unforgivable. I was in the middle of drinking myself into the next life.” Javier said. “When I saw her in Smithfield Saloon…” 

“Yeah,” Sadie scoffed. “She told me. You fainted like a lady in the Saint Denis heat.” She teased. You did your best to suppress your smile, just continuing to fiddle with the roast. 

“When I came to, and I saw her face, I knew I had to at least try to make amends.” Javier explained. “I never expected her to forgive me, or to want anything to do with me. I just wanted to tell her she was right, like she always is, and that I was sorry.” He said. You couldn’t suppress a little chuckle at that, but you didn’t turn around. 

“I wasn’t even going to ask her for her forgiveness, or to try again with me, but I couldn’t stop myself when I saw her.” Javier continued. You shoved supper into the oven took cook, then came and stood behind Javier, leaning down as best as you could and wrapping your arms around his shoulders. 

“We both knew we’d never be happy apart. So I agreed to try again.” You said, 

“And so just like that you went back to how things were, like none of it ever happened?” Sadie asked incredulously. 

“God no,” you said, shaking your head and pulling out a chair to sit in. Javier took your hand in both of his, stroking it tenderly. “It was years before we trusted each other again. Years before we were anywhere near how we were before.” you said. “There were times where I was ready to leave, didn’t think I’d ever be able to forgive him fully. But eventually…” you sighed. “Well… if he weren’t sincere, he wouldn’t have tried so hard to make amends.” 

“Mistakes were made. Mistakes that I’ll never be able to live down, or forget. I live with it every day.” He vowed. “But somehow, mi cilito was able to see past it all and love me anyway.” He said, lifting your hand up to his lips and pressing a quick kiss to it. You smiled at him. 

Sadie was quiet, pondering your words for a moment. You could see the confliction written all over her face. She and Javier had been friends once. Maybe not as close as you and Sadie were. Certainly not as close as Sadie was to Arthur. But they’d still been friends. 

“I don’t expect forgiveness,” Javer said after a moment. “But I do regret everything that happened. If I could go back, I’d change it in a heartbeat.” He said. Sadie nodded, letting out a deep breath. 

“Alright then,” She finally said. “I don’t know if I can forgive you. And seein’ as I weren’t there in the end, I ain’t sure my forgiveness would really mean much anyway. But I can be civil at least.” She said. “She ain’t stupid. So if your little miss here trusts you and thinks you’re sincere, I guess I have to trust her. ‘Specially if she’s willing to carry your kid.” She scoffed. Javier smiled, and his hand automatically went to your stomach, stroking it lovingly for a minute. 

"God you two are still as sickly sweet as I remember." Sadie scoffed, and the three of you laughed. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sadie didn’t forgive Javier immediately. Neither of you expected her to. But whenever she was in the area, she came around to visit you. After about a month, she offered to take Javier out bounty hunting with her. That’s when you knew she was starting to forgive him. If she trusted him to have her back while chasing a bounty, she trusted him about as much as she ever would. 

Though you weren’t completely thrilled about Javier chasing bounties, you had to admit it was good money, and you decided so long as he had Sadie watching his back, you could live with it. Sadie never took him on the really dangerous jobs. 

That didn’t mean he was always safe. He did come back sometimes with cuts and bruises, even a graze from a bullet once. You worried about him of course. But working as a bounty hunter did make sense for Javier, and so long as he came home to you, you could deal with the rest. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

You sat at your kitchen table reading. There wasn’t much more you could do at this point, you were so big. Only a week or two left to go before you were due. You felt like you should be knitting or something. Felt like that’s what women did at this stage of their pregnancy. But, though you could sew, you’d never quite mastered knitting. Javier told you not to worry about it, and had been spending every spare dime on hats and socks and blankets for the baby. 

A knock at the door pulled you out of your reading, and the door swung open a moment later. Sadie peaked her head in, and smiled when she saw you. 

“Look at you, missy. You look like you’re going to pop.” She remarked. 

“I feel like it too.” you grumbled. “Come on in.” You said, marking your place in your book and setting it aside. “What’ve you been up to?” you asked as Sadie removed her hat and set it aside before sitting down across from you at the kitchen table. 

“Ah, same old stuff. Chasin’ bounties.” She said, waving you off as you began pushing yourself up to go get her something to drink. “Don’t you fuss over being a good hostess or anything. I’m fine,” She said. You settled back into your chair. 

“Any fun?” you asked. Sadie cocked her eyebrow. “Hey, you forget I used to love racing around the country doin’ stuff like that. I’m living vicariously through you. Come on. Any fun stories?” 

“Well…” Sadie paused. “There was this one feller I went after down in Bayou Nwa. He was an accountant or something once. Stole a lot of money, so he’d fled into the swamps.” Sadie shrugged. “Found his camp easy enough, but he hit me with some… knock out drug. Not sure what it was. Woke up some ways away, still dizzy as hell. Saw rabbits the size of horses and horses the size of cats.” Sadie laughed. “Felt like I’d had far too much to drink. When my head finally cleared I ran after the guy, only to find that he was runnin’ with the Night Folk. Now those are some creepy sons of bitches, but I can deal with them fine enough. It was their guard gators that were the problem.”

“Did you say guard gators?” you asked, intrigued. 

“Yeah. They’d trained the damn things or somethin’. I’d down one of the people, then all the sudden a gators running at me.” Sadie said. You shuddered. God that sounded terrifying. But you could feel the adrenaline in your veins just thinking about it. 

“Did’ya get him?” You asked. 

“Course I got him,” Sadie huffed. “Got him alive too. Once I dealt with his gang and his gators I was able to take him in no problem.” She shrugged. “I’m findin’ most bounties are like that. All talk, but mostly hiding behind their gang.” she said. You hummed in agreement, thinking back on your experience with outlaws. It was true. 

“Where’s Javier?” Sadie asked, “I got a job I want his help with.” She said. 

“He should be out in the barn,” you said, scooting your chair back and bracing your hand on the table to help you pull yourself up. 

“I know where the barn is,” Sadie huffed. “You don’t gotta get up.” 

“If I don’t get up every few hours, my back hurts.” you waved her off. “The midwife from Armadillo says I should walk around when I can.” Together you and Sadie walked out of the house and around the yard to the barn. 

“Javier?” You called when you were close enough to the barn. 

“Are you alright, amor? Is it time?” Javier’s voice came from inside the barn. You heard a crash and a thud as Javier tripped over something while scrambling out of the barn. “Ouch. Mierda.” Javier hissed. A moment later he scrambled out of the barn, dusting himself off hurriedly. 

“Oh, hello Sadie,” he said, seeming to relax when he realized you weren’t in labor. He’d been growing increasingly jumpy the last few weeks, leaping to attention whenever you called his name, ready to race into town to fetch the midwife if he had to. It was both endearing and annoying.

“Javier,” She said with a chuckle. “I see you’re ready for the little one to get here.” Javier nodded, striding out to meet the two of you. His hands immediately went to your belly, and he leand down to give it a kiss before giving you a quick one as well. 

“Of course. I can’t wait to meet mi tesorito,” He cooed. You giggled and Sadie laughed. 

“You’ve gone soft.” She teased. 

“And happily so,” he said dramatically. 

“Well I hope you ain’t too soft to track down a bounty with me.” Sadie said. Javier hesitated, glancing over at you. 

“I… I really shouldn’t be away right now…” He said. 

“Its nearby. Should be an easy bounty. The guy’s running alone, and he’s running scared. He’s not far from here either. We’d be back before midnight if we left right now.” Sadie said. 

“We’ll be okay alone for that long,” you assured Javier. "I ain't due for another week or two yet."

“You’re sure?” Javier asked, still seeming hesitant. 

“Yeah. We’ll be fine. Go help Sadie drag him in. We’ll be here waiting for you.” you said. Javier nodded. 

“Alright then. I’ll go get my stuff,” He said. Sadie mouthed a thank you behind Javier’s back as the three of you went inside. You just nodded. You helped Javier pull on his bandoliers and gather his guns. 

“Watch each others’ backs.” you said firmly, looking between the two of them sternly. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll bring your man home in one piece.” Sadie chuckled. 

“You’d better be in one piece too,” you said, smiling at her. 

“Yes Ma’am” Sadie said, giving you a lazy salute. 

“I’ll be back tonight, amor,” Javier promised. 

“Good,” You said, pressing a kiss to his lips. He held you close for a moment before letting you go. He crouched down in front of you and held your belly tenderly. 

“Be good for your Mamá,” Javier said sternly. “And don’t you dare try to join the world without me.” he said. You chuckled and patted the top of his head. 

“We’ll be fine. Get going.” You said, shooing him out the door after Sadie. You waved to them as they rode off. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

As if purposefully defying their father, your baby chose that afternoon to start their journey into the world. 

About an hour after Javier and Sadie left, your pains began. They were light at first, enough that you could maybe pretend they were just the false alarms the midwife had warned you about. Or maybe you were just too stubborn to admit that you were out in the middle of the desert, miles from the nearest town, with no way to send for the midwife and no one to help you. 

By the time the sun had set, it was impossible to pretend it wasn’t happening. Your contractions were getting stronger, and you felt fluid dripping down your legs. You tried to keep calm, tried to keep yourself steady, pacing the house. 

“Ugh,” you cried out, bracing yourself against the kitchen table as another contraction washed over you. “My love, you were supposed to wait for your Papá to come home.” you groaned, clutching your belly with one hand while the other held you up against the table. You forced yourself to breathe through the pain, gritting your teeth and trying not to scream. 

“I need help,” you panted as the contraction passed. You’d been hoping that Javier would be home soon, and you could send him to get the midwife, but you could feel your time drawing nearer, and you needed someone now. 

You pushed yourself away from the table and waddled out onto the porch, staring out at the road. Hopefully someone would ride by soon, and you could get them to ride into town and get the midwife. 

You weren’t sure how long you waited out on the porch, clinging to the rail with each contraction, staring at the road. But nobody came by. There was nothing but coyotes in the distance and lizards in the brush. You glanced over at the barn. 

If you made it onto the mule, could you get to town? Maybe. You were stubborn enough that it was possible. But you could picture yourself laying in the dirt by the side of the road, giving birth there. No. Better not risk it. At least here you had shelter, and weapons, should anyone try anything. 

With a huff, you pushed yourself away from the rail and waddled back inside, moving over toward the mantle over the fireplace. You looked at the clock that sat on the mantle. It was nearly 2am. You braced your hands against the mantle as another contraction swept over you. 

“Damn you, Sadie Adler, you said you’d have him home by midnight,” you cried through gritted teeth, your grip on the mantle the only thing that stopped you from falling to your knees in front of the fireplace. Your body trembled with pain as you held yourself up. The contractions were only getting worse, and you found you couldn’t stop yourself from crying out in pain, letting out a loud wail. 

As the contraction eventually passed, you rested against the mantle for a minute, catching your breath. You took deep breaths, coming to terms with the fact that you were likely going to be doing this alone in your little home. You weren’t a particularly religious person, but you couldn’t stop yourself from looking at a little picture of The Holy Mother that Javier kept on one of the tables, and crossing yourself. You weren’t sure you believed in his god. Or any god. But damn if you couldn’t use every bit of strength, cosmic or otherwise. 

You slowly let go of the mantle and looked around the house. What would you need? What did you need to do? You glanced down at your skirt. It was already ruined. May as well leave it on. It was flowy and comfortable. You did take off your blouse though, leaving you in your camisole. 

You hadn’t payed much attention to how dark the house had grown. The fireplace was about the only source of light. You went around lighting lanterns and candles. You may as well be able to see. The rest of the early morning was spent gathering what you’d need in between contractions. 

Finally, just as the sun was rising, and your contractions were moving closer and closer together, you heard hoofbeats trotting up the path. You grabbed your gun, just in case it was someone unsavory. 

“Javi?!” You called, voice trembling slightly. A moment later the door opened. You lifted the gun, ready to use it if need be. 

“Mi amor, I’m home,” Javier crooned. His face fell as he took in the sight of you, resting on an old blanket on the floor, covered in sweat and tears, hair pulled back into a messy ponytail. You sighed with relief when you saw him. 

“Javi, thank God. Ah!” You cried out as another contraction clutched your body. You tossed the gun aside as Javier raced across the room, sliding on his knees as he came down in front of you. You threw your arms around his shoulders, bracing against him as the pain shook your body. You muffled your cries of pain into his shoulder. 

“I’m sorry, amor, I’m sorry,” He murmured. “I shouldn’t have gone. I should have known this would happen. I’m so sorry. I’m here, now. I’m here.” He rubbed your back soothingly as you clung to him. 

“Let me guess, she waited up all night for… you…” Sadie’s voice trailed off as she entered the house and took in the sight. Javier glanced back at her, then turned back to you. Your body slumped against him as the wave of pain passed. 

“Sadie, help me get her to bed,” Javier said. 

“No,” you muttered. “Don’t wanna ruin the mattress.” 

“You’re worried about the mattress right now?” Javier asked, shocked.

“You remember how damn expensive that thing was?” You whimpered. 

“I’ll buy you a new mattress as an apology for leaving you alone,” Sadie cooed, wrapping an arm around your back. You relented, letting Javier and Sadie pull you to your feet and guide you to your bed. You had to admit, it was more comfortable than the floor. You settled on the bed, your back against the headboard. 

“I’d better go and get the midwife,” Javier said. You grabbed his hand, yanking him back. 

“You ain’t leaving me,” you groaned. 

“I’ll go get the midwife,” Sadie said, standing up. 

“Shouldn’t you stay with her? You… I mean… you’re…” Javier hesitated. 

“You think just cause I’m a woman I know anything about childbirth?” Sadie asked, raising an eyebrow. “I know ‘bout as much as you do. She wants you to stay, you stay.” Sadie said. Javier nodded, sitting on the bed beside you and taking your hand. 

“Ride hard,” you groaned as you felt another contraction approaching. Sadie nodded and raced out of the house, chased out by your screams of pain. 

“Deep breaths, amor,” Javier murmured, standing and grabbing a rag. He dipped it in a pitcher of water and wrung it out before lightly brushing it against your forehead, cooling you off and wiping the sweat off your face. You whimpered as your contraction passed, and lay back against the pillows. You couldn’t exactly keep track of your contractions, but it felt like they were coming closer together. 

“Did’ya catch the guy?” You asked, trying to distract yourself. Javier smiled and nodded. 

“Yeah. Chased him all over the damn desert, but we got him.” Javier said, lifting your hand to his lips for a quick moment, pressing a kiss to the back of your hand. “I’m sorry it took so long.” He said. You just shook your head. Nothing for it now. He’d gotten here in time, that’s what was important. 

You rolled onto your side, burying your face in the pillow as another contraction ripped through your body, letting your pillow muffle your screams. Javier stroked your hair out of your eyes and let you squeeze the life out of his hand. 

You felt a strange pressure between your legs as the contraction began to fade. You grunted and rolled back onto your back, trying to figure out what the feeling was. 

“Javi,” you said, “Somethings… can you look. I feel something.” You said, tugging at your skirt. Javier’s face went white. 

“You want me to look… down there?” He asked. You huffed. 

“Wouldn’t be the first time you’ve been down there,” You cocked your eyebrow at him. You pulled your skirt up, and Javier shifted on the bed so he was down between your legs. You saw him jump, startled, and his face grew pale as he looked up at you. 

“I think I see the head.” He said, looking terrified. You groaned as another contraction hit. You clung to the blankets underneath you and began pushing, because you felt like you needed to. 

“Wait wait wait,” Javier squeaked, sounding very scared. “The midwife isn’t here yet…” He trailed off when you shot him a glare. The baby was coming now, midwife or no. Javier took a deep breath, squared his shoulders and unbuttoned his vest, tossing it aside before settling on the bed between your legs. His hands gently spread your thighs open wider, and you scooted back so you could brace your back on the headboard. 

“I don’t… what do I do?” He stammered, rolling up his sleeves. You groaned. 

“You think I know?” You huffed. “But an hour ago I was pretty sure I’d be doing this myself. So buck up and...ugh... catch them when they come out!” you cried out the last part as another contraction washed over you, and you began pushing again, clutching at the sheets tightly. You reached one hand down toward Javier, and he took it instantly, holding your hand as you pushed, his eyes flicking between your face and the top of your baby's head. 

You weren’t sure how long you were pushing. Javier, bless him, did his best to keep you calm, give you encouragement and sing gently to you. 

“I can’t do it, Javi,” You despaired, head hanging down on your chest in exhaustion. 

“Hey, none of that,” Javier said firmly, squeezing your knee. “If any woman can do this, you certainly can,” He said. “You’re so much stronger than any other woman I know. You’re nearly done, so keep going, alright?” He said, his gaze softened slightly. “I love you.” He murmured, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to your knee (It was the closest thing he could reach. You appreciated the sentiment, even if it was a little weird.) You met his gaze and nodded, steeling your nerves for the next contraction. 

You pushed with all your might when it came, screaming as the pain became unbearable. Javier wrenched his hand from yours, and you felt something slip out of you. All at once, everything stilled, the pain was gone, and kneeling on the bed between your knees, Javier was holding a small, slippery baby. 

He stared down at the little baby in shock, then up at you, then down at the baby once more. You let out a noise between a laugh and a cry, tilting your head back against the headboard and catching your breath. 

The door burst open, and Sadie rushed in, followed by the midwife, just a few minutes too late. Javier turned to look at them, and he must have looked a sight, shirt stained with blood and other fluids, mouth hanging open like a fish out of water, holding the little baby in his arms like he was afraid he’d drop them. 

Sadie hurried to your side, a wide smile on her face, while the midwife jumped into action, clearing the babies nose and mouth while Javier stared down at the little baby in his arms, still frozen with shock. 

“Look at you, Mama,” Sadie laughed, sitting on the bed next to you and letting you rest your head against her, exhausted. “See, you didn’t need me racin’ into town after the midwife. You did it all yourself. How’s that just like you, too impatient to wait for help so you just do it yourself, huh?” Sadie laughed. You let out a tired chuckle. 

The baby’s cries pierced through the room, and you sat up a little, looking down at where Javier and the midwife were fussing over the baby. The midwife took the baby from Javier and held it while he nervously cut the cord, looking up at you for a moment like he was worried it would hurt you. 

“Here now, give her to your wife,” The midwife said firmly, wrapping the baby in a blanket and passing it to Javier. “She’s done all the hard work, and here you are hogging her all to yourself. Let your wife meet your daughter.” She scolded with a grin on her face. 

“Daughter?” You asked, sitting up as Javier handed you the little bundle. He nodded. 

“Our little princesa.” He murmured. Sadie moved out of the way so he could sit down next to you. 

“Have you picked out a name?” Sadie asked, leaning against the mantle. 

“We have a few. We wanted to wait until we met them.” You looked down at the little bundle in your arms in wonder. She opened her eyes, squawking slightly as she looked up at you and Javier, and you both gasped as you held her gaze for the first time. Her face was pinched, and she was still covered in… bits. But she was beautiful. 

“Stella,” You whispered. You knew immediately it was her name. It was one you and Javier had been discussing, among others. It meant star. Somehow, looking down at her sparkling eyes, it seemed perfect. “Don’t you think?” You asked, looking up at Javier. He was already staring at you, his eyes wet with emotion. He nodded and pressed a kiss to your forehead. 

“You’re right.” He said. “Stella is perfect.” 

“Stella Maria Escuella,” you said. Her middle name would be Javier’s mother’s name. You heard Javier choke out a small sound, trying his best to keep his emotions in check (and failing miserably). He nodded slightly, his face still pressed against your head. 

“‘S pretty,” Sadie said. She peered over Javier’s shoulders. “She's pretty.” 

“It’s a perfect name,” The midwife said, smiling. “Would you like me to take her and clean her up?” She asked. You nodded and reluctantly surrendered your baby into her arms. Your eyes followed her across the room to the sink. 

She pumped some water into the sink and carefully began bathing Stella. Stella let out a little squawk at the cold water, and the midwife hushed her gently. You didn’t even realize you were trying to push yourself up out of bed to go make sure Stella was okay, until Javier gently pushed you back against the bed. 

“You rest,” He murmured. “I’ll go hover,” He assured you, pressing a kiss to your head before crossing the room to the sink. He did his best not to hover too closely to the midwife, but he couldn’t help himself, parental instincts kicking in and overtaking Javier’s already overprotective personality. 

Sadie brought you a glass of water, which you took gratefully, gulping it down. 

“Why don’t you help her into a fresh nightgown while we clean the little one here,” The midwife suggested. Sadie nodded and gingerly helped you out of bed, stripping you of your clothes without comment before helping you into a loose, clean nightgown. She guided you to sit in a chair near the fire while she began stripping the bedsheets as well. 

Javier walked over a moment later with Stella in his arms, wrapped in the blanket his sister had given you, the one their mother had made before she passed. He gently handed her to you before sitting on the armrest of the chair, leaning over you both protectively. 

Stella, seemingly exhausted by the task of being born, had drifted off to sleep, letting out soft sounds every now and then. Javier smiled down at you both and kissed the top of your head. 

“Thank you, amor,” He murmured. “Today you have given me the greatest gift.” He said, you tilted your head up, and he obliged, giving you another kiss. The three of you settled in, you and Javier watching little Stella as she slept. Everything felt perfect. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Mamá, Mamá look! ¡Mira!” Stella exclaimed, tugging on your skirt and pointing excitedly. You finished hitching up your horse and bent over slightly, trying to get a good look at what she was pointing out. Stella was so full of joy, sometimes she was awed by the hawks that flew overhead. 

She also flipped effortlessly between English and Spanish, often in the same sentence. She didn’t quite understand the distinction between the two languages. The table was also la mesa, and the two words were interchangeable in her mind. It was off putting to some of the townsfolk who met her, but you and Javier found it adorable, and you were proud that she knew both languages. 

“What is it, sweetheart?” You asked, not spying what she was talking about. 

“El gato! He’s okay!” She said. Now you saw it. Last week the two of you had found a little cat, starving and weak. You’d given it some scraps of the rabbit you’d hunted that you were about to sell to the butcher in town. It now sat in the dirt, grooming itself. You smiled. 

“Si! It is the cat from last week! He looks much better too.” you said. Stella grinned up at you. 

“Can he come home and keep el granero free of rats?” She asked “Por favor, Mamá?” She begged, big brown eyes staring up at you. Ugh. Just like her father, one look and you were putty in their hands. 

“We’ll see what Papá thinks,” You finally relented. Stella bounced up and down with joy, knowing that if you were prone to saying yes, her papá would as well. Stella was by no means spoiled. Your life wasn’t grand, and many times you’d had to carry her out of the shop with tears in her eyes because you couldn’t afford the toy, or she didn’t need that sweet. But she did have a hold on you both that you couldn’t explain, and you both knew you’d do anything you could for her. 

“Mamá, llévame, please,” She asked, stretching her arms above her head. You smiled and picked her up, resting her on your hip. She clung to you like a baby possum, and you were able to fish your mail out of your bag with ease, along with the parcel you were sending to MacFarlane ranch. You approached the mail counter.

“Good morning, Mrs. Eskwayla,” the man behind the ticket counter said, still unable to wrap his accent around your last name. He certainly wasn’t the only one who struggled with the name. “And good morning, Miss Stella. How are you today,” 

“Buena,” she giggled. 

“Does that mean good?” He asked, furrowing his brows but keeping a smile on his face. Stella nodded. 

“Well I’m glad to hear it. What can I do for you two ladies this morning?” He asked. 

“I need to send a couple letters, and this parcel,” you said, setting the mail on the counter. The man slid it under the window and weighed out the package. You slid him a couple dollars, which you knew would cover it. 

“Thank you. I’ll get that sent out with tomorrow's mail run.” He said. 

“Thank you. Any mail for us?” You asked. He puttered around in the cubicle for a moment, humming and hawing. 

“Ah-ha!” He said, grabbing two letters and sliding them to you. “Here we are.”

“Thank you,” you said smiling. 

“Have a good day ladies.” The man called. Stella waved as you walked away, shifting how she was sitting on your hip so you could examine the letters.

“Oh look. A letter from Aunt Rosa and Uncle Alejandro,” You mused, smiling. It had been a while since you’d heard from them. “Oh, and one from Aunt Sadie as well.” 

“When is Tía Sadie gonna visit again?” Stella asked, resting her head on your shoulder. “I miss her.” 

“Soon I’m sure,” you assured her. 

"Never thought I'd see you with a kid on your hip." a familiar voice came from behind you. You froze. You'd recognize that rough voice anywhere. You spun around with a wide smile, holding Stella carefully on your hips so she didn’t lose her grip.

"John Marston is that you?” you grinned when you saw your old friend swaggering toward you, arms wide open. You gave him a quick one arm hug. “How the hell are you?!" 

"I'm good,” John said, bending down slightly so he was eye-to-eye with Stella. “And who’s this?”

"This is Stella." You said. "Stella, say ‘Hi’ to Mr. Marston. He's an old friend of Papá and I." 

"Papa..." John paused for a minute, trying to figure out who you must be with that he knew.

"Hola, señor Marston" Stella said shyly. “It’s nice to meet you.”

"You... Javier?" He asked. You nodded. "Were you...?" You watched John try to do the math, try to figure out if you were pregnant when the gang fell apart. 

"No. Javier and I found each other again some time after " you said. John said nothing, not sure what to say. An awkward silence settled between the two of you "Why don't you come for dinner?" You asked. "I'm sure Javier will want to see you. I think he probably has some things he'd like to say." You said. 

"I don't know..."

"It's rude to turn down dinner." Stella scolded. You and John chuckled. “Especially Mamá’s dinner.” 

"Well I can't argue with that." John chuckled. He followed you back to your horse, whistling for his. “Alright I’ll... I’ll come see him.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So what have you been doing since we last saw each other?” You asked. You and John were sitting around the table, sipping on some cheap beer and catching up while Stella played with a little toy horse on the floor. “Sadie said y’all went to Canada for a bit.” 

“Yup. Tried our luck in the Yukon. Didn’t turn out very well. Wandered for a bit but um…” John chuckled. “Well, now I’ve got a little ranch out in Great Plains, between Blackwater and Manzanita post.”

“No kiddin’? You, a farmer?” You said, leaning back. “Who would have thought John Marston could ever settle down.” You chuckled. 

‘Hey, it’s about as believable as you having a kid,” John huffed. “You were wilder than any of us back in the day.” He chuckled. You nodded. 

“Yeah I suppose so.” You said, smiling fondly as you watched Stella gallop her little toy horse around the floor, leaping it over imaginary fences and whinnying quietly to herself. “How’re Abigail and Jack?” You asked. “Oh god, I bet Jack’s gotten so big by now.” 

“They’re good… I… well… I think they’re good. Abigail uh… she left me.” John stammered. 

“Damn. I’m sorry,” you said. 

“It’s why I bought the ranch. Prove to her that I can change, and that I’m… who she needs me to be I guess,” John said, scratching the back of his neck. 

“Well good for you,” you said, smiling. “No time like the present. I’m sure she’ll come back. As much as you two fight... She does love you. ‘Least she did back then” the two of you sipped your beer. 

“You ever hear from anyone else?” you asked. 

“Yeah. Actually I’ve got Uncle stayin’ with me, helping me build my house.” 

“Uncle? Build your house?” you said, raising an eyebrow. 

“Well… ‘spose it’s more me and Charles building.” John chuckled. 

“Charles Smith?” you asked. John nodded. “Wow. How’s he doin’?'' you asked. 

“He’s good. Same as always, really.” 

“Good. Tell him I said hey.” You said. You and Charles had been good friends back then. Charles had been the one to teach you how to cure animal hides without the use of chemicals. 

“I will.’ John said. “I uh… ran into Mary Beth as well. She’s writin’ books now.” 

“Yeah, I’ve got a couple copies.” you admitted. “Terrible stuff. But I can’t seem to put it down,” You chuckled. 

“And Tilly’s married, got a kid of her own on the way. She’s sendin’ me letters now and then, keepin’ in touch.” 

“Good for her. Send her my address, would you? I’d love to hear from her.” You said. You felt some weight lift from your shoulders, knowing some of your friends were safe at least, and had found some form of peace. “Karen?” You asked. John shook his head. You hummed sadly. You’d been afraid of that. Afraid that she’d disappeared completely. You hoped she was alive somewhere, but the drink had really taken her since Sean’s death. 

“And I been running some bounties with Sadie. That’s how I found out you were down this way. She said you’d settled down out here. Didn’t tell me much else, but I figured I should come and say hello.” He said. “Honestly I… I can’t believe you went back to Javier,” He said. You sighed. 

“It wasn’t just… I didn’t just go back to him. We found each other again and… I knew I couldn’t be without him, nor him without me.” you studied your bottle. “It wasn’t easy. Those scars ran deep. But we worked through it.” 

“Wouldn’t have thought that was something you could work through,” John mumbled. He glanced up at you. “Sorry. S'pose I’m the last one who should be commenting on your relationship.” He chuckled. 

“I think Javier can help you understand better than I can. He should be home... soon,” You said. A familiar whistle sounded up the walkway. Stella squealed with joy, dropping her toy.

"Go greet Papá," you urged. She was way ahead of you, racing out the front door. You heard Javier laugh when he saw her, and he bent down to lift her up into his arms, letting out an exaggerated groan as he did. 

"Papá! Papá! Mamá invited a visitor. One of your old friends." Stella said excitedly. You and John stood up and headed out to meet them

"An old friend?" You and John stepped out onto the front porch. Javier blinked in shock. "John..." Javier said, clearly surprised. He held Stella on his hip, hugging her close to him.

"Javier." John said with a polite nod. 

"How are you?" Javier asked.

"I'm just fine. And you."

"I'm great, as you can see." Javier said, tickling Stella's side and making her giggle. John, as angry as he probably was, couldn’t suppress a small smile, watching Javier and Stella. 

“That's... good,” John said with a weak smile. Tension filled the air, even Stella could feel it, looking between John and her Papá. Javier cleared his throat. 

“I’m sure you never wanted to see me after...” Javier scuffed his boot in the dirt, ashamed. “Everything.” He finally said, aware of the six-year-old girl on his hip. 

“No.” John said. “I really didn’t.” He looked at you for a moment then shook his head. “I shouldn’t have come,” He said. You could see deep hurt weighing on his shoulders. He pulled you into a quick hug. “It was good to see you. I hope you’re happy here with him. But I... I don’t know that I can ever...” 

“Wait, John” Javier interrupted, setting Stella down. She clung to her Papá’s leg for a moment. “I know I don’t deserve it, but would you give me a chance to... to talk.” He asked. John glanced down at little Stella, knowing this wasn’t a conversation for little ears. 

“Ve, Stella,” Javier said, patting her back. “Ve con tu Mamá.” Stella stepped away from Javier and hurried to your side, looking up at John with wide eyes, not sure what to think of him anymore. 

“Let’s talk out here,” Javier suggested. John nodded and stepped down from the porch. You ushered Stella inside and closed the door, listening to the quiet rumble of the men's voices on the other side of the door fade as they walked around the yard. 

“Go play with your horse,” You urged Stella, gently pushing her back to where she’d previously been playing. She glanced up at you, chewing her lip for a moment before she obeyed. 

You tried to distract yourself with preparing dinner, chopping vegetables and seasoning the meat, but you couldn’t help but watch out the window as the two men talked. Every now and then voices raised, but fortunately they never threw a punch, and eventually their voices would quiet back down. Emotions were running high, but they weren’t about to kill each other at least.

They talked for over an hour. You idly rubbed your hands over the meat you were cooking, rubbing the spices in far more than you needed to, but unable to peel your eyes away. You were so busy looking out one window, you didn't notice that Stella had climbed up on the couch and was looking out the other worriedly. 

"Are they fighting?" Stella asked. 

"No." You said, watching them "I don't think so baby." You knew those two. They could disagree or raise their voices, but if they were actually fighting, punches would have been thrown by now. They were actually talking, genuinely trying to make amends.

"Why was Señor Marston so upset with Papá?" She asked. "I thought you said they were friends." You smiled and wiped your hands on a towel before grabbing her little hand and pulling her into your lap as you sat in the chair near the fireplace. 

"They were friends. Once upon a time, they were more like brothers." You explained, choosing your words carefully. One day you and Javier would tell her about your past life, but she didn’t need to know the nitty gritty of it. "But Papá made a mistake. A big one. And... Some people got hurt because of it." You explained. 

"Papá made a mistake?" She asked. You chuckled.

"Yes. It happens. Not often but it does happen." Stella pondered this for a minute, brows furrowed in concentration as she turned this new information over in her mind.

"Do you think Señor Marston will forgive him?" She asked. You paused for a minute. 

"I hope so, baby," you sighed, pulling her close and resting your chin on her head. “I really hope so.” You smiled, thinking back on the past. “Those scars on Mr. Marston’s face? He was attacked by wolves. Papá and another man saved him. Pulled him from the snow and brought him safely back to his family.” 

“Really?” Stella asked, wide-eyed. You nodded. She hummed for a minute. “I think they’ll make up then.” She said firmly. 

A moment later the door opened. You and Stella sat up straight, eager to hear what had happened. Javier poked his head inside for a minute, looking around until he saw you. He smiled. 

"Amor, would you set the dinner table for one more?" He asked. John appeared behind him, grinning bashfully. 

"If it ain't too much trouble." He added quickly. You grinned. 

"Already done" you said, gesturing to the table. "Dinner will be ready in an hour." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the evening was spent talking and laughing. The tension wasn’t completely gone. Every now and then John couldn’t help but look over at Javier with a strange expression on his face. But he would quickly push it aside. Wounds like that wouldn’t go away with just one conversation, but you knew the men had reached some truce, and John was working on healing those wounds. 

Stella was more excited than you’d seen her in a long time, excitedly talking at a mile a minute, telling John about the cat you two had fed, then turning to her father and asking if we could bring it home, then before he could even respond, she was talking at John again. John seemed highly amused by all of this, just nodding along. 

Finally Stella seemed to talk herself out, and fell asleep with her head on the table, face narrowly missing the mashed potatoes she hadn’t quite finished. Javier scooped her up in his arms and carried her into the bedroom, laying her down in her little bed and tucking her in. 

“She’s adorable,” John chuckled as you gathered the plates from the table and scraped any scraps into a bucket on the porch to take to the pigs in the morning. 

“She is.” You giggled. “I hope she didn’t talk your ear off,” You said apologetically. He shook his head. 

“Nah. She’s a doll.” He assured you. “It was kind of hard to follow her sometimes though,” He admitted. “With the Spanish and all.”

“Yeah, she doesn’t quite understand the difference between Spanish and English yet. They’re one in the same to her, just two different words for the same thing.” You laughed. “She does speak a little more English, because that’s what the people in town speak, but she still throws in spanish words here and there.”

“I think it’s adorable,” Javier said, walking back into the room. He stepped toward you and grabbed your waist, giving you a quick kiss before the two of you turned back to John. “Why don’t we all go out on the porch and talk, so we don’t wake her?” He asked. John nodded and the three of you stepped outside. 

Coyotes yapped as the ran around in the brush in the distance. You could hear armadillos chirping as the scuttled around. It was a cool, peaceful night. Javier lit the lantern on the porch, and the three of you settled in.

“So you said you were out in West Elizabeth now?” You asked John. He nodded. 

“Yeah. Got a little farm out there. Charles and Uncle are helping me build a house.” 

“Charles and Uncle?” Javier asked, eyebrows disappearing behind his hair. “Charles I can understand, he was always a good worker. But Uncle?” 

“Yeah. Pretty sure Charles is doing most of the work. Uncle is... directing.” Javier shook his head. 

“Nothing ever changes.” He chuckled. 

“And yet, everything does,” You mused. The men nodded in agreement. 

“You two should come and visit sometime.” John suggested. “Once it’s all done. Come see the place.” 

“I’d love that,” You said. Javier nodded in agreement. 

“It’d be good to catch up with Charles,” Javier mused. “And... if I must see Uncle again...” The three of you laughed. 

“Once it’s done, and Abigail comes home, send us a letter. We’d love to come see it.” you said. 

“I’m sure Abigail would love to see you again. And Jack.” 

“How much does he remember?” Javier asked. 

“He remembers some of it.” John said. “It’s hard to say how much. Sometimes he acts like he never ran with a gang. Then sometimes he’ll surprise me with this random memory he has of Pearson’s cooking or your guitar playing.” 

“Probably for the best that he only remembers the good.” You mused, imagining if Stella were in such a situation. She wasn’t much older now than Jack was then. You were beginning to understand Abigail better now. If Stella went through half of the things Jack went through, you’d be a mess. Javier grabbed your hand, rubbing the back of it with his thumb, like he could tell exactly what you were thinking. 

The rest of the evening was spent reminiscing about the good times you’d had with your family. The glorious jobs you’d worked, the mischief some of you got up to in camp. Even talking about those you’d lost, the mood was happy, remembering the good times, not the bad. Maybe that’s what you all needed too. The good, not the bad. 

At your insistence, John spent the night sleeping on the couch, leaving for home early the next morning. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

A few months later, the three of you found yourselves crossing the Lower Montana and heading toward Beechers Hope. Stella rode on Boaz with Javier, sitting happily in the saddle in front of him and examining the world with her big, curious brown eyes. 

John had written a couple weeks back, inviting you out to see the ranch. After arranging for a couple of MacFarlane’s workers to come and take care of your farm, the three of you had set off. Stella was vibrating with excitement the entire way, having never gone anywhere aside from Armadillo. She talked her father’s ear off, asking a million questions. You realized she’d never seen an Elk before. Or a Bison or a deer. Just pronghorn and Coyotes. This was all new to her, and she was taking it all in. 

The three of you had left just before sunrise, and it was just after noon when you finally came upon the gate to Beechers Hope. The land was sparse, but still beautiful. Behind the property Tall Trees rose up, a beautiful wall of trees. 

You slowed your horses to a walk as you came up the path. A dog barked, alerting the farm of your arrival. Rufas, if you remembered John’s letter right. Stella giggled in delight, looking down at the dog as it sniffed at you. 

“Is that who I think it is?” A familiar, jovial voice called. You glanced up to see Uncle pushing himself up from his seat in the shade of the porch, a big grin on his face as he rambled toward you. 

“How’re you, you old leech?” You asked, dismounting your horse.

“Now is that any way to greet an old friend?” Uncle scolded, coming down the front steps as you took Stella from Javier and set her on her feet. “You went and had a baby?” Uncle asked. 

“I sure did,” You huffed, letting Uncle pull you into a hug. “I thought John would’a told you.” 

“Well... he did, but I didn’t believe him.” Uncle admitted. 

“Stella, this is Uncle.” You said, you leaned down and stage whispered in her ear. “We don’t know his real name. He’s just Uncle.” You said. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Stella,” Uncle said, bowing low (well as low as she could.) She giggled. 

“Hola. It’s nice to meet you too.” She said. 

“How have you been, Uncle?” Javier asked, dismounting alongside you. 

“Oh, ‘bout the same. Lumbago still acting up. But I soldier on.” He moaned. You and Javier exchanged looks. Before you could say anything more, an excited hollar caught your attention, and you turned to see Abigail racing over from the barn toward you. You laughed as she barreled into you, hugging you tightly and laughing happily in your ear. 

“It’s so good to see you!” You laughed.

“You too!” She said, leaning back just enough to cup your face and look you over. She nodded, seeming satisfied. “Where’s this sweet little girl John told me about?” Abigail asked. Stella peeked around your skirt, looking up at Abigail. 

“Stella, this is Mrs. Marston,” You said. Stella beamed up at Abigail. 

“Hola, Señora Marston” Stella said politely. 

“Oh ain’t you adorable,” Abigail cooed, “None of that fancy stuff now. Just call me Aunt Abigail.” She said. Stella nodded, glancing around Abigail at the pasture behind the barn. 

“Tía Abigail, can I go see your horses?” She asked, eyeing the beautiful horses that grazed in the pasture. Abigail laughed. 

“Of course. Let's go put your horses in with the others,” Abigail suggested, taking Stella’s hand and leading the way. You and Javier followed, leading your horses. Abigail and Stella hit it off immediately, Abigail asking Stella all the standard questions (how old are you? What is your favorite animal? Favorite color? etc.) and Stella answering all the questions enthusiastically. 

You and Javier unsaddled your horses, draping the tack on the fence, and let your horses loose into the pasture while Abigail took Stella around to meet all the others horses, and the cows as well. You and Javier watched as she was thoroughly introduced to all the animals in the pasture before Abigail led her back out. 

“Where are John and Jack?” She huffed. Stella wandered toward the sheep pen to examine the fluffy beasts and try to coax one over to say hi. “John! Jack! Come and see who’s here!” Abigail called. She looked around, huffing slightly when she couldn’t spot them.

Charles came around the corner, having heard the commotion, and nearly bumped into Stella, who was trying to find a better angle at which to view the sheep. She tilted her head all the way back, staring up at him in awe. The two stared at each other for a moment, Charles not sure who this little girl was or if he'd frightened her, and Stella just taking in this mountain of a man. 

"Hola," Stella said, sticking her hand up to shake his. "I'm Stella." She said. Charles smiled and shook her hand carefully. 

"It's nice to meet you, Stella. I'm Charles." He said. He glanced up and saw you and Javier. His face slipped into a big smile. 

"Look, Mamá! I made a friend. Se llama Charles!" She said. 

“I see that,” You said, smiling widely at Charles. “He’s an old friend of ours,” Javier stepped forward, and Charles stepped around Stella to meet him, the two pulling each other into a manly hug. 

"It's good to see you, brother." Charles said, giving him one big thump on the back.

"It's good to see you too." Javier replied, thumping him back. Stella grabbed Javier's leg, and he picked her up. Charles turned to you, smiling widely.

"I'm guessing these two belong to you?" He asked, gesturing to Javier and Stella. You laughed and nodded. Charles stepped forward and wrapped you in a big hug. The two of you had been best friends before it all happened. You’d always wondered if he was alright, if the army had gotten him or if he’d gotten the Wapiti tribe away.

"It's so good to see you again," you said, hugging him tightly. 

"You too." He said. You were feeling a little emotional, seeing so many familiar faces again. You pushed your tears away to save your dignity. Couldn’t be seen having gone completely soft. 

“Well look who came up from their patch of dirt?” John’s voice cut through the air. John and Jack were crossing the yard toward you. 

“You call our farm a patch of dirt?” Javier teased, gesturing to the land around. 

“He’s kidding, of course,” You said, leaning toward Abigail. “It’s a beautiful home.” 

“Yeah, but what would those two be if they weren’t poking fun at each other,” Abigail chuckled. 

“Señor Marston!” Stella said excitedly, running up to give him a hug.

“You call him Uncle John!” Abigail insisted. John chuckled and patted Stella’s back as she hugged his legs. 

You smiled as you got a good look at Jack. He was so big, a spindly pre-teen, but you could still see the little boy you’d known. 

“Uncle Javier?” Jack said, looking at Javier. He glanced over at you and said your name as well. 

“It’s good to see you, Jack,” Javier said, smiling and pulling the boy in for a quick, manly hug. You were not worried in the slightest about embarrassing the boy, and wrapped him in your arms, cooing about how big he’d gotten and looking him up and down. He blushed, but didn’t push you away, letting you mother him just a little. 

You couldn’t help but look around at everyone. Uncle, Charles, Abigail, John, Jack, Javier all back together again. The gang may have fallen apart, but the survivors could still gather like this, still hold onto the family the gang was, even if the core of the gang was no more. 

Stella squealed, pulling you out of your reminiscing. She was happily running after Rufas, happy and overstimulated. As much as you missed the old gang, you wouldn’t change a thing, because it gave you your precious little girl. 

“Come on, let me show you the house,” Abigail said, breaking you from your thoughts as she tugged on your arm. Javier took your other hand, following you. You glanced back at him, and were happy to see Charles, John, Uncle and Jack all following you inside, laughing and chatting away. Javier managed to catch Stella one-handed and scoop her up onto his hip, carrying her inside with the rest of you. 

You met Javier’s gaze, and knew he was feeling the same swirl of emotions you were. You missed those you’d lost terribly, but it was nice to be able to be with those who were still here.


End file.
